Video of the Week: GAZA at Dudefest 2009

(Video credit: Joe Hammond)

BMA Weekly Grind - 6-23-09

It’s not a sausage fest, it’s Dudefest!

Three days worth of smelly dudes embracing their punk roots—and Slip N Slides—storms into Indianapolis from July 17-19. Non-crust folks may only be able to tolerate a solitary day of such a pungency of the senses, which is where our suggestion for watching GAZA and Lords on Saturday of the fest comes in. Salt Lake City’s resident conscientious objectors are back again this year, after leaving last year’s Dudefest salivating at the gills. The last remaining rebels of the South follow later Saturday evening to kick what’s left of the concert goers’ corpses in the ribs. Other bands scheduled to join the stage with both GAZA and Lords Dudefest weekend are Torche, Russian Circles, Harvey Milk, Furnace and more.

For a complete listing of bands, venue and ticket information, visit the Dudefest MySpace page:

http://www.myspace.com/dudefestindiana

Paria run to the Dakotas and back!

Maybe not physically, but the band’s tour dates are as follows:

6/25 - The Sydney - Omaha, Nebraska

6/26 - Knickerbockers w/The Recession - Lincoln, Nebraska

7/11 - The Beat w/High Hopes - Minneapolis, Minnesota

7/17 - Nights of Columbus (w/Old Ironside) - Sioux Falls, South Dakota

7/18 - The Red Raven (w/Battlefields & Old Ironside) - Fargo, North Dakota

An excerpt of Paria bassist Dustin Treinen describing the band’s wacky relationship with Psyopus in a recent interview with Thrash Magazine:

“We were in the middle of a song and a girl walked out holding a big sign that said something like “Psyopus owns you pussies!” The next thing I knew, my band was being pelted with flour and glitter wrapped in paper towels. We were caught completely off guard because as far as we knew, Psyopus was 5 hours away from us….”

The full interview can be read here:

http://www.thrashmag.com/interviews/content.aspx?id=4598

http://www.myspace.com/paria

Engineer kicking ass and taking names with Tides!

The most up-to-date July tour dates and venues scheduled for Engineer thus far:

7/12 - TBA - Rochester, NY

7/13 - The Vineyard - Kent, OH

7/14 - The Metalfrat - Ann Arbor, MI

7/15 - The Tower Room - Antioch, IL

7/16 - The 1511 w/ Comadre & Surroundings - Indianapolis, IN

7/17 - TBA - Evansville, IN

7/18 - The Hideaway - Johnson City, TN

7/19 - SK Net - Charlotte, NC

7/20 - Nara Sushi - Richmond, VA

7/21 - The Velvet Lounge - Washington DC

7/22 - The Hexagon - Baltimore, MD

7/23 - Kung Fu Necktie w/ Fight Amp - Philadelphia, PA

7/24 - The Cherry St Station – Wallingford, CT

7/25 - Easy Axxess - Pawtucket, RI

7/26 - Anchors Up! - Haverhill, MA

7/27 - The Long Mustache - Burlington, VT

7/28 - Recess w/ Fuck the Facts - Syracuse, NY

http://www.myspace.com/engineercooldude

A plethora of BMA releases comin’ at cha, real soon!

9/15 – Lye By Mistake – “Fea Jur”

9/15 – The_Network – “The Bishop Kent Manning”

10/13 – Sweet Cobra – TBA

10/27 – The Abominable Iron Sloth – “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Heaviness”

Follow us on Twitter, Blogspot and troll our Web sites for the latest BMA rhetoric:

http://blackmarketactivities.blogspot.com

http://www.blackmarketactivities.com

http://www.myspace.com/blackmarketactivities

http://www.twitter.com/sheenabma

http://www.twitter.com/michellebma

BMA News Update: Summer releases and regurgitation

There hasn't been a BMA News Update in a good minute, though a lot of news blurbs were posted in the past several weeks. Here's the lowdown of what's been posted, and hasn't, to keep you up-to-date on what's happenin' right now with the BMA family.

Despite the fact the_Network's April tour dates are already up in an earlier post, here's a listing of the confirmed dates and venues for the tour. the_Network will be joined by Aussie natives Robotosaurus.

The_Network (U.S) and Robotosaurus (A.U) Australian 2009 Tour
4/23 Adelaide, South Australia @ Adelaide Uni
4/24 Melbourne, Victoria @ Arthouse w/ The Abandonment
4/25 Melbourne, Victoria @ Pony
4/26 Melbourne, Victoria @ Catfood Press
4/28 Sydney, New South Wales @ Dirty Shirlows
4/29 Sydney, New South Wales @ Hermanns
5/1 Brisbane, Queensland @ Rosie’s live w/ a secret death
5/2 Brisbane, Queensland @ Ahimsa House w/ a secret death

Expect to see new releases from both the_Network and Utah's best oppressed secret, GAZA, out this summer.

The lone member of the BMA family playing New England Metal and Hardcore Festival is Syracuse, NY's Architect. The band will play Friday, April 17. Check the band's MySpace for more info - set time, stage, etc.

Scheduled to play the second day of LA Murderfest is Nor Cal natives The Abominable Iron Sloth. LA Murderfest is May 9 and 10 at the Knitting Factory.

The rumors are true. GAZA will be playing this year's Dudefest in Indianapolis. No specific dates have been announced, nor has the final lineup been released for the fest.

Dudefest Day 3: Get me back to my asshole state, stat

Luke from Gaza's bloody face from Saturday

Sunday, June 20

The Fabreeze-scented air indicated one thing: the dozen smelly dudes had vanished.

I’m pretty much over this shit by Sunday. The theme this day was pretty much “let’s fast forward to the two bands I wanted to see and get me the fuck out of dodge.”

Dudefest, Day 3

I’m at the end of my clean clothes so I appear dressed for either a Juggalo tea party or a funeral. But whatever, this is Dudefest, not The Cure live in concert. Graf Orlock was the first band we wanted to see and they were simply incredible. If you’re not entertained by playing “Guess where this sample comes from,” just merely watching the band is enticing enough.

After Graf Orlock was Backstabbers Inc. Good stuff all around, even with minor technical difficulties. I’m thinking a comeback more epic than Michael Jackson before he went fucking crazy is in order, thoughts?

Here’s a brief summary of the end of our Indy trip:

Watched a lady get arrested outside of Red Lobster, not sure what she did. Maybe an animals rights activist letting the lobsters loose? Nah, gotta remember this isn’t California.

Ate at Ruby Tuesdays, finally. Those fucking advertising geniuses knew I’d get there one day.

Spent two separate plane rides nearby passengers choosing to sing operatic/Backstreet Boys style tunes.

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant

Dudefest Day 2: Beer, Blood and Dinosaurs

Saturday, June 20

Yes, man really came from a monkey..


After spending a night of compromised sleep in the Days Inn (thanks to Luke from Gaza snoring louder than a semi running through 20 barrels of nitroglycerin) the frosty Charlies once again make their way into the hands of the_Network – it’s 11 a.m., yum, breakfast.

Some of the guys zone out on CNN, while everyone waits his turn to make a half-assed attempt at removing days of caked sweat from their crust-laden bods. One of them flips on The Discovery Channel – or a channel that falls within the same vein – and the next half hour or so is spent watching the history of man at the caveman stage, and no, it wasn’t a GEICO add. Still, that’s quite some irony; seven dudes who wreak watching cavemen travel in groups through the forest, searching for basic necessities. I wonder if they smell the same?

Dudefest, Day 2

Didn’t I mention we love being fashionably late? Well good, because once again the BMA staff didn’t get to the venue until right before Gaza was set to play, about 4 p.m. After some minor difficulties getting in, we managed to infiltrate the building roughly one song into Gaza’s set.

We weren’t too sure who we missed, but it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t think too many kids cared either. “Who was that?” a girl asked her fellow Dudefest buddy about the band in the slot before Gaza. “I don’t know. The shitty band before Gaza?” the guy replied.

I think it’s safe to say Gaza pretty much owned that stage, kicked it in the teeth and even mopped the floor with the remaining carcass. Pullin’ kids up from the audience left and right, Gaza vocalist Jon almost managed to blend into the fevered, swarming mass, which is hard to do for a guy with enough height he could give LeBron James a run for his money.

Fuck all y’all cankles

I’m not sure which was more amazing: the amount of cankles I saw at Dudefest, or my first time seeing Lords live -- I’m leaning toward Lords.

The description of Lords live will fast forward, since I think at this point the day’s heat damaged my long term memory capacity, just picture awesomeness in your head.

Slip n’ sliding and beer shotgunning, holy wet underpants!

Despite what you may assume by reading the preceding header, we didn’t visit any of Indianapolis’ fine stripping establishments – But Luke from Gaza managed to end up in his underwear for roughly 85 percent of the day.

Basically, someone set up a Slip n’ Slide in the back of the Emerson Theater and Luke thought it would be an amazing idea to shotgun a beer in his skivvies, all while sliding in the mosquito infested, murky waters of the rubber slide. Not only did we discover Luke has to hold the record for shot-gunning beer under 30 seconds, but also the unfortunate details of Luke’s boxer briefs having more ass-area holes than Paris Hilton’s brain from taking “E.”

Here’s a few other minor details I discovered after Lords and before Pig Destroyer:

• I’ve spent two days enjoying a lunch of mini gummy burgers, tootsie rolls and candy fries – hello diabetes

• The_Network drummer Tim and I share the same birthday, New Years Day. Yes, we’d like a fucking cookie.

• Bennett’s beard holds many secrets, other than food and dried alcohol from a week ago.

Who the fuck brought a dinosaur to the party?

Saturday’s Dudefest was sort of like SeaWorld, or any zoo for that matter. An inflatable dolphin and a gigantic stuffed dinosaur were enough to make anyone feel like they were on the set of Fear and Loathing: Indianapolis. But even more so, when people started riding the inanimate animals instead of directly crowd surfing, I began to question when I’d start seeing unicorns and Neil Patrick Harris. Kids rode this soon-to-be-fossil like there was no tomorrow, with smiles on their faces that can be best described as creepy.

A group of people were watching up on the side of the stage, while I preferred the lower area next to the stage. I look up and see Luke and Casey from Gaza to my right. I take a second glance about five seconds later and Luke’s in his underwear, again. He doesn’t put his pants back on until several half-naked crowd surfs later.

Overall, Pig Destroyer killed and everyone knew it, even without the band’s samples working. As epic as this performance was, I’m not sure even the brontosaurus that everyone in the crowd copped a feel on beat the mayhem at Zanie’s Too.

Bloody kisses, nah, more like bloody faces

A brief rundown on the actual performances I saw:

• Suicide Note, fabulous.

• Sweet Cobra, fucking awesome, as expected.

I know what you’re thinking. “You went to Dudefest and only watched a handful of bands?” Well first, fuck you. Second, if you were witnessing the amazing craziness and straight up comedy I was, you’d think twice about hastening your hearing impairment as well.

During the hangsesh we had with Mitch from Dance Club Massacre, half of the_Network and random members of Gaza, a grip of random shit happened within the matter of three hours:

1. The_Network vocalist Mike celebrated being one year closer to being a member of AARP.
2. The_Network guitarist Kevin knocked the fuck out before midnight.

And last, but not least, Luke from Gaza plummeted on the pavement, resulting in a half swollen, bloody face and me embracing my inner motherly instincts. A wad of toilet paper still wasn’t enough to cleanse Luke’s bloody face and arms (which were bloody from him wiping his own face). But the dude was a trooper. Despite looking like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face from a past horrendous version of Batman, Luke managed to give a slowed version of Gaza’s adopted finger snap, thing – just like P. Diddy, he can’t stop, won’t stop.

Up next, day 3..

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant

Dudefest Day 1: Death and a handful of nickels

Friday, June 19

An ode to poo..

It’s day one of Dudefest, yet I’m still not in Indianapolis.
The dozen or so dudes of Gaza and the_Network, who shared the hardwood floors at the Error House, tag-teamed the shower, then parted ways for Indianapolis.

Gas, heart attacks and hallucinations

The_Network stopped for gas right outside the University of Illinois before heading to Indy, which is around $3.98 a gallon, making this Californian say things like, “What the fuck?” and “What the hell were their gas prices before the oil corp. execs decided to rape and pillage?”
You’d think a stop at the gas station would be completely normal. Everyone sits idle while the guy pumping the gas does his best not to wince at the amount of cash burning up in thin air.
But this day, in the matter of five minutes, an old man nearly drug his wife – who was halfway out the driverside door – across the gas station parking lot, while in the midst of what seemed to either be a heart attack, or severe dementia. After the gas station attendant ran out and managed to avoid all common sense by asking, “Should I call 9-1-1?” an ambulance showed up.
Seeing old people die wasn’t the end of it, I mean, that’s what old people do, they die. An average sized black dude on a mini bike drove through the whole scene, diverting our attention from the withered old man being strapped down to a gurney.
But still this wasn’t all.
Another random guy, who looked like one of the only vatos locos in town, strolled by the van doing his best gangster strut, and asked the guys if they were in a band. After answering yes, the guy asked the name of the band. But really, what vato would know who the_Network is? He’d have to be doing time for being scummy, that’s for sure.
But after the guy was given a response from Bennett, he said he’d heard of the band and that a friend from Mass. told him about the_Network. At this point, we were all questioning how PCP got into our drinking water.

Dudefest, Day 1

Here at BMA, we hold the term “fashionably late” with much importance when getting to a venue.
It was about 8 p.m., the_Network and Gaza were already at the Emerson Theater, yet the BMA staff lagged – but after spending the day with a bunch of crusty dudes, a shower had to be in order on my part.

Here’s what I recall about the night prior to heading over to Zanie’s Too:

• Talking about poo with Jon from Gaza

• Getting a dollars worth of nickels in change from the nearby McDonalds, ‘cause dude was too lazy to wait for paper money, and with no slot machines in sight, this was useless to me.

• Following those Utah hooligans of Gaza -- Casey, Luke, Mike and friend of Gaza, whose name I can’t remember for the life of me – back to their van, while they guzzled Bud Light and played catch with a football at the steps of a church.

• Watching only one band, Coliseum – Okay, two when adding the maybe five minutes of Torche (I think).

• Considering taping the repeated response we had to give when people asked us why The Red Chord couldn’t make it.

Two-pack a day voiced bartenders

At Zanie’s Too, there were two bartenders, neither were remotely attractive. And due to their two-pack-a-day voices, neither would even be hired as phone sex operators – that is unless you dig your chicks sounding like a Louis Armstrong and Barry White fusion. That’s pretty much a huge separation from California, where a majority of the time the bartenders are attractive, but then again, alcohol is more expensive and the bars close two hours earlier.

Here’s what the night mainly consisted of prior to the_Network playing:

• Kevin from the_Network and I whooped this guy’s ass in pool, not once, but twice. Apparently three times if you factor in the Kevin vs. guy-whose-name-I-can’t-remember’s first round.

• Luke from Gaza recapping his experience with getting a ride from Scott Hull of Pig Destroyer to the bar.

The_Network’s performance was an eye-opening experience, namely for Metal Jeff, the photographer traveling with the band. Jeff took Pete's peddle board straight to the eye, making him look like Ike Turner told him what's up from the grave. But that’s not all folks; pretty much all of Gaza was trying to get in on the mix during the scummers’ set, showing their drunken support, one bruised nipple or other form of bodily injury at a time.


Stay tunned for Day's two and three..

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant

Pre-Dudefest festivities, with dudes..

These guys..

It’s about 6:30 p.m. EST and after a five hour plane trip, I end up in a van with six smelly dudes.

Our destination is the Error House in Champaign, Ill. where the six crusty gents, otherwise known as the_Network, will play with another set of stinksters, Gaza.

The Legend of Maya Angelou

Once we reached our destination, the guys from Gaza proceeded to exchange gifts with the_Network. It was similar to that of a Native American trade, you know, where one tribe gives the other an animal carcass for a day’s supply of tobacco, or maybe some peyote. The only difference in this circumstance is that it wasn’t two tribes, but one set of silly guys, cleverly jabbing another for some laughs.

The black version of strawberry shortcake was handed over from Gaza’s altitude defying frontman, Jon, with a card reading, “To: the_Network; From: Gaza.” The doll was later dubbed “Maya Angelou” by the_Network guitarist Kevin.

Gaza Luke + the_Network Kevin = pure comedy

Alcohol isn’t necessary when these two get together. Even both of them sober in a room will have you on the floor with side-splitting laughter. But it wouldn’t be rock ‘n’ roll if someone wasn’t drunk, and why stop with one person when you’ve got a dozen ready to put down a cold one?

Nevertheless, this isn’t about a rowdy group of beer guzzlers, it’s about a specific pair.

Luke from Gaza and Kevin of the_Network could probably be easily compared to Cheech and Chong, or maybe even two Cheeches, since both equally share the spotlight with their banter. But if I tried to describe some of the shit these two made jokes about, none of you would even laugh. Not because it didn’t make any sense, but because it didn’t come straight from the duo’s mouths.

Here’s a short video of Bennet and Kevin from the_Network and Luke from Gaza doin’ what they do best, having a couple frosty charlies, check it:

Stay tunned for further installments.

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant