Artist Entry: Architect drummer Ant Michel needs a little rubbin' and tuggin' for writin'

A writing process only comparable to ancient Greek philosophers

We felt we would bring in Justin Bateman and Doogie Howser to help with the writing process. At a local rub and tug we decided this wasn't such a great idea because all they do is stare at us. We fired them. While eating an amazing mess of Bruschetta that Keith made from leftovers in the Kitchen of infamous Mike Palmer LCC, we decided another rub and tug was needed. So we went to the local trailer park to look for one. We feel the best rub and tugs are from those that are less fortunate and really fat. Why you ask?? Because they don't get anything and when it does happen they make it last like it’s the last day on earth -- get what I mean?

We were done. We then went back to practice at Palmers LCC house, because we practice in the attic, we have one week left there and then we now have here to practice -- typical Architect. We feel playing in the nude gets us in a Zen like mood and allows the writing process to flow like the leak on Joe Mamma's wiener.

As we finish the songs and tighten things to get ready for Jocko at More Sound, we felt like "Ghost of the Salt Water Machines" will out do "All is Not Lost." We can only assume the money made on this album will help pay BMA back, and leave some leftover for eyeliner, girl pants, and plenty more rub and tugs, 'cause you know what Architect and Bill Cosby say, "there's always room for JELL- rub and tugs……"

Ant

the views and opinions on this blog are from Ant. They do not reflect the views and opinions of anyone else in Architect, but I don't give a shit, because they didn't take the time to write anything so I did…

Artist Entry: Dance Club Massacre vocalist Nick Seger and the second installment of random blasts

El Randomo Blasto: Numero dos

Buenos Dias Black Market Activities Blog fans! Seger here once again to give you RANDOM FUCKING BLAST! Pardon my foul mouth but I'm trying to make a point.

It has recently been drawn to my attention how much the metal kids and other types of girl pants goombas love swear words. Swear words sell. And not JUST swear words. Like my fellow BMA co-worker from Animosity, Leo, put it best - It's all about the big block letters boys and girls.

We had a show across the street from Animosity in Cleveland, OH. A bunch of kids standing in front of OUR venue ran over and bought a SHIT load of First Blood hoodies. I’m standing there minding my own business and here come seven or eight dudes and one chickity frolicking back to our home base dressed in bright red sweatshirts with swear words on them. In no way do I have a problem with this at all -- No problem with the band, no problem with kids having a blast buying merch from one band they really like and then running back to our show -- I'm just making an observation here. All of the fests, all of the tours, all of the shows I see gold foil shirts and big block lettering with swear words. Well in the words of Rocko the Wallabee: "That tears it!" If my friends Reel Big Fish don't mind selling out, then neither do I! We are going to get gold foil shirts! And big block lettered hoodies with the colors neon green and uh red or something. And they are going to say, "Dance Club motherfucking cock sucking bitch a$$ tittie slapping Massacre." And maybe we will add the word "broseph" on the back just for good measure. These are just some ideas.

Mitch, guitarist of my band, wrote a blog recently about his favorite TV show "Lost." I didn't read it. But I bet you did! So, I have a few things to say about MY TV shows. What is the deal with Regal turning out the lights on "Monday Night Raw?" And why is Triple H still feuding with Orton? And why are we seeing yet again the sequels to HBK vs. Jericho, JBL vs. Cena, Taker vs. Edge. If WWE thinks we are stupid and don't have a long term memory, then why the hell are they selling old school DVDs like the history of the AWA, Dusty Rhodes's entire carreer, etc. Think about it jackasses. I swear to God I can write better then those morons. If I were Vinny Mac, Santino Marella would get the biggest push ever. The man is a genius. Kendrick would turn heel on London. Bring Colt Cabana up from development already! Fire Shannon Moore! Give Elijah Burke a title, and a lot of promo time. For God sakes this is just basic knowledge, am I right?
Also, I have to say BOO-FUCKING YAH Tim Duncan! Just watched game six last night Spurs vs. Hornets. I love Timmy Duncan and I want to see the Spurs kill them damn Wasps. Boston is going all the way. Next year look out for Drew Gooden (Osama Beard Gooden) and the Bulls bitches. Our time has come, again.

Back to my love for wrestling. I've heard a lot of talk about Emmure lately. Being on the road venue after venue the promoters and the bands and kids always say Emmure was just here and they packed the place. This brings me to their "Total Nonstop Action Wrestling" deal. First off, kudos Emmure. That is the coolest thing I have ever heard of. Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle found them and praised them. He is on their new album cover. TNA promotes the guys. Furthermore, Kurt Angle was on TNA last week wearing their shirt. So I have an idea. We shall feud with Emmure! We’ll send Samoa Joe a package of our shit. He won't like it I am sure, but imagine if the Samoan Submission Machine wears our shit? Dance Club Massacre "Circle of Death" featuring Samoa Joe on the front cover tearing shit up. Boo yah, we get TNA promotion. Then finally in a few months in a steel cage it will be a war games elimination style match. Kurt Angle and Emmure vs. Samoa Joe and Dance Club Massacre. Then my dreams can come true by breaking into the music business and the wrestling business at the same time. So Emmure if you read this... We are coming for you big daddy! Come hell or high water! Without a shadow of a doubt! Make no mistake about it! Blood will be shed! Bones will be shattered! Let the mind games begin! And that’s the bottom line, because Dance Club Massacre said so! Because it's just a matter of time we meet you guys in the six sided steel cage, and we're gonna crrrrrrush ya! Whatcha gonna do, when our new gold foil shirts, our haunting keys, and our shredding guitar licks run wild on you!? If ya smelllllllllllllllllllllll what DCM... is cooking.

Fuck high gas prices ;)

Artist Entry: From a Second Story Window voclaist Will Jackson is surrounded by "Charlie"

WHOOOOOO THE WEEKEND!

Welp. It is here and I am stoked, the weekend. We have been planning a lake trip for a few weeks now and it has finally arrived. The Jet Ski's are gassed, as well as the boat, and the wake boards are geared up for some much needed slick water gliding and fun. I have been working like a dog lately so this trip is actually very much needed for my personal psyche.

What have you been doing while on your break Will? You may ask.

The answer. Working with a crew putting up vinyl siding on an insanely huge house with rather odd angles and lofty heights that have tested my endurance for such things, in a rather richly neighborhood sitting among other houses of similar tastes and sizes all the while adorning the sidelines of a top notch golfing establishment. Boy have I seen some good shots off of the 16th green these past few weeks.

It has really been a fun job, working with competent folks full of experience, who do not mind sweating in the sun, letting a newbie get his licks in, and telling stories of days past and memories earned to pass the time. I've heard so many old Vietnam stories I am beginning to feel like ol' Oliver Stone himself. I swear, I must laugh at least a thousand times a day hearing the guys speak of trips to the "Californi-YES-YOU-CAN", a wild whore house located deep inside a Vietnam township just outside of a fellow workers barracks, word is they used to do their best to, after receiving well earned (and payed for) felatio by a young woman, convince the new guys on base to go in for a kiss.

I also heard that the proper place to dispose of young G.I. goo is under the mattress, just a simple lift and spit and no one would ever know you were there. Ugh. Now the tears and side stitches come on while hearing of bear hunting stories where another fellow worker, who is quite hard of hearing, especially amidst extreme external noise, i.e. harsh winds, traffic, public gathering spots, etc., was hunting and due to the harsh, loud winds, walked right up on a bear and proceeded to, "...drop my gun, shit my pants, stand like a stunned monkey for what felt like thirty minutes, then come to and grab my gun and shoot the fuck out of that mother fucker!"

It don't get no better than that folks. Well, that is until you are spread eagle wearing nothing but shorts and your chest hair getting a tan from our own glorious sun, while awaiting you next ride on some sort of aquatic fun having vehicle or device. Yes, the lake, the water, the music, the women, the beers, the pot, the smiles, the laughs, and the good times HERE I COME!

Yaw have a good weekend!

One love.

Wheel Jackson

Artist Entry: Architect drummer Ant Michel has beef with Lindsay Lohan

You know what really grinds Ant's gears?

This Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits. Ya know? You're a... You're out there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer. So, what am I supposed to do? What you want? You know, are we gonna go out? Is that what you're trying to - why, why are you leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my, over there in my face? What do you want, Lindsay? Tell me what you want? Well, I'll tell you what you want, you want nothing. You want nothing. All right? Because we all know that no woman anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is - is just bogus.

The views and opinions on this blog are from Ant. They do not reflect the views and opinions of anyone else in Architect, but I don't give a shit, because they didn't take the time to write anything so I did…

Artist Entry: Dance Club Massacre guitarist Mitch Hein is a surviving member of the Oceanic six, or is that seven?

"Maybe the dog can find water. I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure they can find water." - Hurley

“How the fuck do you move an island?!”

Mitch from Dance Club Massacre here. As I sit here typing this, I’m anxiously counting down the minutes to the first hour of the "LOST" Season four finale this Thursday night. It’s kind of like the counter in the Swan Station, but with 1,440 minutes instead of 108, and without that annoying beeping sound.

How do they get off the island?! Why do they need to go back?! Who is in the coffin?! What is the smoke monster?! Why is Kate so hot?! These are just a few of the things I ask myself daily.

Week after week new mysteries unfold that usually aren’t answered for a loooong time, so if you don’t have any patience, I wouldn’t suggest trying to watch this show. However, try watching the first three seasons on DVD all in a row for days straight without sleeping. It’s pretty crazy.

Originally this season was supposed to have 16 back to back episodes, but the writers' strike caused a hiatus after the first seven. At first, this was awful - What was I going to do without "LOST?" In the end though, the writers' strike helped progress the storyline much faster than planned. When it came back, the original 16 episode schedule was cut to 14, which meant more content in fewer episodes. I finally started getting some answers! Until this past week, my mind was blown once again.

After Locke, Ben, and Hurley found Jacob’s cabin in the jungle, Locke was told that in order to save the island, they have to move it. How the fuck do you move an island?!

Well according to what I’ve seen in the promos and sneak peeks, they are heading to another DHARMA Station called The Orchid. Over the summer at Comic-Con, an orientation film for The Orchid was shown. In the video Dr. Edgar Halliwax is shown holding a white rabbit with the number 15 on it. During the presentation something happens and another white rabbit with the number 15 on it appears in the background and everyone starts freaking out and saying, “Don’t let them see each other!”, inferring that it’s the same rabbit but from a different period in time. It’s rumored that The Orchid is used for time travel/teleportation.

So does this mean they are going to physically move the island to a different place? Or are they going to move it in time to the past or future? Are other versions of every character going to appear out of nowhere? I don’t even want to think about how any of this is possible. This show just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

I guess this whole moving the island thing might explain why in the last episode, during Ben’s flash-forward, Charles Widmore says that the island belongs to him but Ben tells him he will never find it - even though Widmore’s men are currently on it (in island time). This implies that they will successfully move the island, but how? Also, what happens to everyone that wasn’t rescued?

So far my theory is that the Oceanic six will get off the island, and immediately after that, Locke and Ben will successfully move the island. This would explain why only the first group of six will make it off, because they won’t be able to find it again. Its said that Season five is most likely going to be about the Oceanic six trying to get back to the island, and then Season six will be them making it back and doing whatever it is they were supposed to do there - since its been implied from day one that they were there for a special purpose and weren’t supposed to leave the island in the first place.

I mean, why did they want to leave the island anyway? There are houses with running water and electricity, a decent amount of food, wine, and beer to go around, you’re right on the ocean, you don’t have any responsibilities…fuck man, take me to this island now!

Artist Entry: the_Network guitarist Kevin and the truth behind the boob tube

“Where the press is free, and every man able to read, all is safe.” –Thomas Jefferson. 1817

News.

News is what happened or will happen, right? Well, no, it isn’t. News is what someone says it happened or will happen. A healthy democracy is dependent on a well informed citizenry. That is a regularly agreed upon statement among objective people. When we, as citizens, are aware of what is going on in our country and the rest of the world, we’re in a better position to decide what we want from our leaders. The problem is that power hungry people know this as well. The Russians tried to control behavior, the U.S. government wants to control opinion, and the U.S. mass media rarely hesitate to give them a hand. So we need news and we get news, but who’s giving it to us and what’s their motivation? Who pulls the strings at our news sources? In order to answer these questions, one must first look at who’s in charge.

Let’s look at television. Basically, all networks (besides my band) are owned by a handful of huge conglomerates with billions of dollars and plenty of international interests. (*The following companies own far more channels than what is listed, but I’ll mention only their news outlets and Comedy Central.) AOL/Time Warner owns CNN, Headline News, and 37.5 % of Comedy Central. General Electric owns NBC, CNBC, 50% of MSNBC (w/ Microsoft), has stakes in regional news channels, and NBC and CNBC in Europe and Asia. Viacom owns CBS and 50% of Comedy Central. Disney owns ABC. News Corporation owns Fox and the Fox News Channel. Bertelsmann owns almost all of the channels in Europe. Those companies, along with Sony, Vivendi, and AT&T, basically own everything you see on TV. (*Google “The Big Ten” to see the ridiculous amount of crap these conglomerates own.) Many of the above mentioned stations share interests in a variety of channels, newspapers, radio stations, magazines, etc. Personally, I get sick thinking of how much they own. I own some guitar stuff, some jeans, and whatever t-shirts bands are nice enough to give me (hint hint).

This kind of ownership can greatly affect a news channel’s output. For example, NBC’s “Today Show” deleted a reference to the General Electric Company from a report on shoddy products that was televised November 30, 1989. NBC is a subsidiary of RCA, which is owned by General Electric. Also, GE has secured millions of dollars in defense and military contracts, earning itself a place among notorious war profiteering companies. With this in mind, how critical of U.S. military interventions are NBC, CNBC, and MSNBC really going to be? Many of the above mentioned companies’ CEO’s are staunch conservatives and have interests in other organizations that benefit from war. For example, CBS has board members from the Amoco Corporation and NBC shares board members with J.P. Morgan & Company. J.P. Morgan & Co. helps manage $290 billion of the Sabah family’s money in Kuwait. Perhaps that could help explain why the U.S. Government ignored Saddam Hussein’s atrocities until he invaded Kuwait, a huge U.S. cash cow.

This is why the overused “liberal media” label just kills me. Conservatives love to look at journalists and call the company they work for “liberal.” You know, those Volvo-driving, latte-drinking, tree-hugging liberals controlling the media. How many times have you heard conservative talk show hosts blaming the “liberal media” for making Bush look like an idiot? (A fucking one-year-old could do that.) Even Bill Clinton whined to Rolling Stone that he did not get “one damn bit of credit from the knee-jerk liberal press.” And of course, George W. Bush complained that the media “are biased against conservative thought.” If the U.S. mainstream media were biased against conservative thought, they wouldn’t exist!

Follow the dollars, find the problem. You want the news? A few people are getting rich controlling vital information and millions of people are getting dumb listening to what billionaires want them to. I mean, 1% of the U.S. population owns 50% of the stocks! I could go on and on and probably will in my next few blogs. So, if you’re bored by thinking, don’t tune in here, tune into your television.

*Yea, I used some sources for this blog, but this isn’t college, so I ain’t citing shit.

ALTERNATIVE NEWS SITES

Fairness and Accuracy in reporting: www.fair.org

Independent Media: www.indymedia.org

Public Citizen: www.citizen.org

Non-Violence Web: www.nonviolence.org

Voices in the Wilderness: www.nonviolence.org/vitw

School of the Americas Watch: www.soaw.org

Global Exchange: www.globalexchange.org

Earth Justice Legal Defense Fund: www.earthjustice.org

World Trade Observer: www.worldtradeobserver.org

Online Anarchist Community: www.infoshop.org

Missionary Service News Agency: www.misna.org

The Emperor’s New Clothes: www.tenc.net

Third World Newsreel: www.twn.org

One World.Net: www.oneworld.net

Third World Network: www.twnside.org.sg/

“April 16”: www.a16.org

Side note from Moderator: If you want to see who owns what, check out the Web site for the Columbia Journalism Review.

Artist Entry: Hi. I'm Guy Kozowyk, and I'm addicted to 'Brickbreaker'

Just another day at the office

I've been trying to get all of my bands to participate in this blog and wouldn't you know it, the hypocrite I am, I had never contributed one myself. Until now!!! This entire tirade is inspired by the fact that it's Saturday night and I just beat "Brickbreaker" on my phone (the shitty, but super addicting pong-type game that comes pre-installed on every Blackberry).

The weekends have always been associated with wild nights out, friends and partying. Until you're away on tour eight months out of the year for seven years straight and all your old buds who would've started calling at 5:01 p.m. on Friday afternoon to see what's up for the weekend assume that you aren't going to be around and stop calling. Eventually, you lose touch and you become the outsider to poker night, pay per view get togethers and general debauchery. You just have to hope you'll find a female who is dumb enough to put up with the abusive schedule and deal with the lack of companionship so you ensure yourself something to do when you get home. And if that isn't available, thankfully God created video games for children, teenagers, college kids, the late-twenty something record label owner/band guys....losers of all ages!

I got back from a tour with Converge, The Red Chord, Genghis Tron and Coliseum about a week ago. I've been completely exhausted and slammed by all the regular catch up work. To decompress, I've found myself buried in a handful of video games. When I was out in Los Angeles, I found a new best friend in a kid named Travell who works for EA Sports who hooked me up with a short stack of Xbox 360 games-- "Army of Two," "The Orange Box" and "Battlefields 2." The night I got home, my brother Michael and I played "Army of Two" start to finish on the easy level. It was fun primarily because of the brotherly bonding experience associated with the four hours of non-stop terrorist killing, but the lack of bosses and a disappointing end sequence infuriated me to the point where I don't know if I will ever play it again.

Most games I can't just casually play. I'll go eight months without touching a controller before having a three-day binge with no sleep. Mike started the "Orange Box," which is actually three or four games in one including "Half Life" and "Portal." After finishing "Army of Two," I just couldn't stand to be in front of the television any longer and watching the 3D strategy game, "Portal" was giving me a headache. I made some comment about why anyone would want to play this mind-numbing game with no enemies whatsoever. I'm making my escape back to my workload when he drops the life ruining comment, "Ever play the 2D Portal on the computer? It's pretty wild." He tells me to search Addictinggames.com and sure enough I find it seconds later. I should never have even looked.

ADDICTING GAMES DOT COM! Of course it's going to ruin your life. It's like trying to casually shoot heroin or something. It just doesn't work like that. Next thing you know, I'm glued to the computer for hours cursing out whoever game up with this retarded 30 level game. It was probably two sleepless nights later when I finally beat it and wanted to put a gun in my fucking mouth over yet another frustrating end sequences.

Which finally brings me to tonight and "Brickbreaker." I got a new phone with this little curse installed on it a couple months ago and on many occasions I find myself bored and killing time with this basic pong-style "hit the ball at the bricks and try to break them. Repeat." You pick up weapons along the way like lasers and multiple balls and for the first 13 stages it is smooth sailing. And then it just kicks in to life ruining mode where it's pretty much impossible.

Since I'm having the video game binge week, I picked up "Brickbreaker" this evening and went for it and in some stroke of luck, I actually made it through all 34 stages within two tries. I'm about to spoil it for everyone-- the game just fucking starts over!!! Like Dr. Mario repeating over and over and over and over on level 24 regardless of what speed you have it on or how quick you kill the shitty viruses, it just starts over. No end screen. No congratulations. Wouldn't you know it, your name goes on this giant top score chart -- my best score ever still leaving me in 42,566th place. I didn't even crack the top 20,000!!! Even when I win I'm a loser! Seriously, I'm not the type of guy to go throwing fits or punching walls, but my Blackberry almost went out the window in a fit of nerd rage.

So that's it. My first official blog. I'm going to attempt to hide from video games for a while. And my Xbox Live gamer tag is SQUASH YOU, so now no one has to MySpace me and ask, or you can leave feedback about how I was terrible at the game or I talked shit to your 8-year-old brother on the headset during "Gears of War" tournaments. I swear, if as many people bought something from the BMA Web store as message me on MySpace about what my gamer tag is, I'd be a rich man.

Thanks for your attention.