Video of the Week: GAZA at Dudefest 2009

(Video credit: Joe Hammond)

BMA RANDOM BLASTS - 7-9-09

Destroy Destroy Destroy guitarist Jeremiah Scott will be interviewed live on 91.7 WMWM Salem State University radio tomorrow at 5 p.m. EST. http://www.myspace.com/destroydestroydestroy

Members of Nashville, Tenn.’s Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are featured along side members of Misery Index and Seven Year Existence in this week’s “Video of the Week” on the Black Market Activities blog. http://blackmarketactivities.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/tonydanzatapdanceextravaganza

Lords vocalist/guitarist Chris Owens and Coliseum drummer Chris Maggio are joining forces for a side project. More information to come as it develops. http://www.myspace.com/lordsoflouisville

Romans guitarist Justin Gonyea recently started running a studio/venue called “The Long Mustache.” http://www.myspace.com/romansnoise, http://www.myspace.com/thelongmoustache

Whoever thought Koalas and Leprechauns could be paired up? The_Network guitarist Kevin Howley has a second Australian tour diary entry on the Deciblog: http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=314618, http://www.myspace.com/thenetworkmetal

Paria, the_Network and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are now on Facebook. In order for the bands to make a Facebook URL, they need over 1000 friends and are asking for your help in reaching that goal! http://www.facebook.com/pages/PARIA/15117509542, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/the_Network/104224565951?ref=ts, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/The-Tony-Danza-Tapdance-Extravaganza/69393437752?ref=ts

Paria and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are also on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/pariamusic

http://www.twitter.com/ttdte

Follow team BMA on Twitter!

http://www.twitter.com/sheenabma

http://www.twitter.com/michellebma

GAZA cancels May tour

Here's what the band has to say, via MySpace:

"Sorry to all the folks that have helped us or wanted to see us in a couple weeks. We just couldn't get this tour put together well enough and the outlook wasn't looking great. We're going to tag a week onto another tour this year, though, so look out for that.

HOWEVER, we're still going to play Dudefest this July and will be booking for that. Stay tuned, y'alls.

Sorry midwest Gazateers, but we'll be by in two months!"

GAZA streaming new tunes from the forthcoming album live on the air tonight

Gaza will play songs from the upcoming release live on the air tonight at 8 p.m. (MDT). If you live in the Salt Lake area, you can tune in at 90.9 FM. Otherwise, go to this link for streaming enjoyment:

http://streamctl.krcl.org/krcl-high.m3u

Gaza tour leading up to Midwest Fuckfest

Here's what we know thus far, check the Gaza MySpace for updates:

4.18 - Greywhale CD (all ages show) - Ogden, Utah
4.19 - Baxter’s Coffee w/ Collapse and Braveyoung - SLC, Utah
4.22 - Club Vegas (21+) w/ EARLY GRAVES, THE SECRET - SLC, Utah
5.13 - The Crown Underground w/ Clinging to the Trees - Cheyenne, Wyoming
5.14 - TBA - Omaha/Lincoln, Nebraska
5.15 - TBA - Des Moines area, Iowa
5.16 - Midwest Fuckfest! w/ ROTTEN SOUND, CROWPATH, etc - Aurora, Illinois
5.17 - TBA - South Bend or Ft. Wayne, Indiana
5.18 - Pending - Pella, Iowa
5.19 - TBA - Denver area, Colorado
5.29 -May-hem Fest @ New Song Underground - SLC, Utah

BMA News Update: Summer releases and regurgitation

There hasn't been a BMA News Update in a good minute, though a lot of news blurbs were posted in the past several weeks. Here's the lowdown of what's been posted, and hasn't, to keep you up-to-date on what's happenin' right now with the BMA family.

Despite the fact the_Network's April tour dates are already up in an earlier post, here's a listing of the confirmed dates and venues for the tour. the_Network will be joined by Aussie natives Robotosaurus.

The_Network (U.S) and Robotosaurus (A.U) Australian 2009 Tour
4/23 Adelaide, South Australia @ Adelaide Uni
4/24 Melbourne, Victoria @ Arthouse w/ The Abandonment
4/25 Melbourne, Victoria @ Pony
4/26 Melbourne, Victoria @ Catfood Press
4/28 Sydney, New South Wales @ Dirty Shirlows
4/29 Sydney, New South Wales @ Hermanns
5/1 Brisbane, Queensland @ Rosie’s live w/ a secret death
5/2 Brisbane, Queensland @ Ahimsa House w/ a secret death

Expect to see new releases from both the_Network and Utah's best oppressed secret, GAZA, out this summer.

The lone member of the BMA family playing New England Metal and Hardcore Festival is Syracuse, NY's Architect. The band will play Friday, April 17. Check the band's MySpace for more info - set time, stage, etc.

Scheduled to play the second day of LA Murderfest is Nor Cal natives The Abominable Iron Sloth. LA Murderfest is May 9 and 10 at the Knitting Factory.

The rumors are true. GAZA will be playing this year's Dudefest in Indianapolis. No specific dates have been announced, nor has the final lineup been released for the fest.

Artist Entry: Gaza guitarist Mike Mason ain't no Ricky Bobby

Im going to change the substance of these blogs and write about something better known to me.

For my entire life thus far, I have been involved with drag racing. It has been from the later years in the '90s since my father and grandpa moved into the "Nostalgia" top fuel dragster class. Yes, to my knowledge, this could be the most appreciated hereditary fortune that has been passed down - next to our patrimonial chance of heart disease.

With this blog, I'm going to relate the "Nostalgia" top fuel dragster, to the contemporary top fuel dragsters. For those who read this and have no idea what I am talking about, top fuel is the quickest and fastest class of the "sport."

These dragsters run on a fuel called Nitromethane, which is a cousin to the more familiar Nitroglycerin. The stoichiometric (chemically exact) air/fuel ratio of nitromethane is 1.7/1, which means with certain atmospheric conditions, Nitro needs 1.7 cubic inches of air to burn 1 cubic inch of fuel. Most unleaded gases are close to 14.6/1. Since Nitromethane already has an oxygen content in it, it can make a lot more power, due to the small portion of air that can be contained with each fire of a cylinder.

From what I have seen, the average person does not have an idea of how much money these cars require to run. To give you somewhat of an idea - to average out things - you're looking in the promised land of $1,000/second to run one.

The only reason they call them "Nostalgia" top fuel dragsters, is that the driver sits behind the engine. This is how they came to be in the late '50s and early '60s. Of course, there is nothing on these cars that are "nostalgic" in any sense of the word today.

There is still a huge difference between the two classes. I'll list a few: Lets start with the rear tires. On the "Nostalgia" top fuel cars, they are limited to a 12-inch rear tire. The contemporary top fuel cars have an 18-inch tire. The rear-end gear ratio is, at its lowest ratio of 3.90/1. Modern day is at 3.20/1. As far as the engines: The modern day are all in some way, a 500" c.i.d.

The NTF class has a variety of ways and set ups you can have. Whether its a donavan, a hemi, a small or a big block chevy. Now I believe the max C.I.D. you can have in the NTF is 450", but the weight of your car is determined by the cubic inch of your engine. Fuel pumps have become an issue in the NTF class the last couple years, but I'll perhaps talk about that another time.

They can now have a fuel pump that flows 22 gpm (gallons per minute) at 4500 rmp, (9,000 engine rpm). The modern day can have whatever will work. The fundamental idea is that the more fuel you can make the engine burn, the quicker and faster you will go.

Most of the modern day top fuel cars have double inlet pumps that can pump up to 106 g.p.m. To get and idea of how much fuel they are burning, think of two 55 gallon barrel's being burnt in one minute. Nitro is on average around $25/gallon right now. 11-14 gallons a run can already start to add up the costs.

The Clutch on the NTF is a centrifigal three-disc clutch. How aggressive you want the clutch to be is related to how much weight you put on it. The more weight, the faster/harder the clutch arms will open up (in theory). The modern day clutch set ups are usually a five/six disc clutch. everything is run on an air timed system, so you can specifically operate when and where you want the clutch to lock up. This is controlled by your right foot. Once you step on the throttle, it is activated. On modern day top fuel cars, this also controls the fuel, and the magnetos (spark).

Nothing on NTF's can be controlled by air except for the parachutes. Superchargers are also a difference. The NTF's are limited to a 6-71 blower. Where as the modern day are a 14-71, a decent amount bigger. Over the years they have gone from a cast casing/rotors ($1,900/6-71) to a cast casing/billet rotor ($2,800/6-71), to an even better cast casing/billet rotor ($5,000/6-71) To now a billet casing and a billet rotored blower (some PSI models are $20,000).

These are just some of the differences, and perhaps I'll continue with another writing about some of the issues these classes are having. But for a "Nostalgia" top fuel car to go in the 5.60's in a 1/4 mile well into the 250 mph range is at the least ubsurd. For the modern day dragsters to go 4.40's and over 330 mph is beyond me.

You need to see one of these in real life. T.V. does no justice. In Baskerfield, Calif, March 6-8, the March Meet is going on. So go to it if you're near that area. It will not disappoint you.

Mike/Gaza

BMA News Update: Cancer Bats spreading like, well, cancer; Tony Danza will gets 'ta steppin' this fall; Gaza checks in

Hi kiddies. It’s time for this week’s installment of the BMA news update. Though the report isn’t a portly one, this isn't Costco people. We don't sell this shit in bulk quantities. Still, we’re anxiously awaiting to announce some good stuff that's brewing with Team BMA, have patience young grasshopper.

Anyhow, on to the news. Here’s what’s happenin’ in the world of BMA this week:

Cancer Bats are taking to the Canadian terrain for a fall tour in September with Black Lungs and Johnny Truant. Cruise over to the band's MySpace page for a show near you.

We're also pleased to announce Cancer Bats will also premier “Hail Destroyer” on Aug. 27 as a feature video in the main video and metal sections on MySpace. Be sure to surf over and watch the video once it’s available via MySpace.

Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza fall tour “The Agents of Chaos tour" stomps across the nation, one Tennessee-bred footprint at a time – or should that be boot print? Nevertheless, TDTDE will be joined by a few buds on select dates, here's the roll call: Arsonists Get All the Girls, Architects, Stray From the Path, ABACABB and Beneath the Massacre. Check the TDTDE MySpace for dates.

It's been nearly two months since Dudefest and you may be asking yourself, where in the world is Gaza? Are they busy campaigning for John McCain? No F-ing way! Strike that theory from the record right now -- you might as well punch yourself in the kidney for ever believing that statement. Jon, vocalist and Demo-cult member fills us in:

We've tucked ourselves away for nearly a year now trying to write this God damn record. Not because it's some sweeping-epic-theme record about the Cherokee or some shit, but because we've had a rough time writing anything we like. We've toured minimally as a result of that, but the touring we've done has been amazing. If you haven't heard about Dudefest, you're probably not listening. In any case I do have some news to report. We have finished about 95 percent of the record: We're calling it "He's Never Coming Back." Casey broke his hand the very week we wrapped up the last song, so recording has been put on hold for at least six weeks. Once he gets the cast off, we'll need about a month to rehearse. Then we can finally shoot and bury this thing as if it was that ham-fisted cunt Nancy Grace. The new stuff is definitely pissed off, but its more... strange? If IDCWIGWID can be described as harsh, this could be described as well written harsh. We hope to have it out before the end of the year. Take care, dickweeds.

Dudefest Day 2: Beer, Blood and Dinosaurs

Saturday, June 20

Yes, man really came from a monkey..


After spending a night of compromised sleep in the Days Inn (thanks to Luke from Gaza snoring louder than a semi running through 20 barrels of nitroglycerin) the frosty Charlies once again make their way into the hands of the_Network – it’s 11 a.m., yum, breakfast.

Some of the guys zone out on CNN, while everyone waits his turn to make a half-assed attempt at removing days of caked sweat from their crust-laden bods. One of them flips on The Discovery Channel – or a channel that falls within the same vein – and the next half hour or so is spent watching the history of man at the caveman stage, and no, it wasn’t a GEICO add. Still, that’s quite some irony; seven dudes who wreak watching cavemen travel in groups through the forest, searching for basic necessities. I wonder if they smell the same?

Dudefest, Day 2

Didn’t I mention we love being fashionably late? Well good, because once again the BMA staff didn’t get to the venue until right before Gaza was set to play, about 4 p.m. After some minor difficulties getting in, we managed to infiltrate the building roughly one song into Gaza’s set.

We weren’t too sure who we missed, but it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t think too many kids cared either. “Who was that?” a girl asked her fellow Dudefest buddy about the band in the slot before Gaza. “I don’t know. The shitty band before Gaza?” the guy replied.

I think it’s safe to say Gaza pretty much owned that stage, kicked it in the teeth and even mopped the floor with the remaining carcass. Pullin’ kids up from the audience left and right, Gaza vocalist Jon almost managed to blend into the fevered, swarming mass, which is hard to do for a guy with enough height he could give LeBron James a run for his money.

Fuck all y’all cankles

I’m not sure which was more amazing: the amount of cankles I saw at Dudefest, or my first time seeing Lords live -- I’m leaning toward Lords.

The description of Lords live will fast forward, since I think at this point the day’s heat damaged my long term memory capacity, just picture awesomeness in your head.

Slip n’ sliding and beer shotgunning, holy wet underpants!

Despite what you may assume by reading the preceding header, we didn’t visit any of Indianapolis’ fine stripping establishments – But Luke from Gaza managed to end up in his underwear for roughly 85 percent of the day.

Basically, someone set up a Slip n’ Slide in the back of the Emerson Theater and Luke thought it would be an amazing idea to shotgun a beer in his skivvies, all while sliding in the mosquito infested, murky waters of the rubber slide. Not only did we discover Luke has to hold the record for shot-gunning beer under 30 seconds, but also the unfortunate details of Luke’s boxer briefs having more ass-area holes than Paris Hilton’s brain from taking “E.”

Here’s a few other minor details I discovered after Lords and before Pig Destroyer:

• I’ve spent two days enjoying a lunch of mini gummy burgers, tootsie rolls and candy fries – hello diabetes

• The_Network drummer Tim and I share the same birthday, New Years Day. Yes, we’d like a fucking cookie.

• Bennett’s beard holds many secrets, other than food and dried alcohol from a week ago.

Who the fuck brought a dinosaur to the party?

Saturday’s Dudefest was sort of like SeaWorld, or any zoo for that matter. An inflatable dolphin and a gigantic stuffed dinosaur were enough to make anyone feel like they were on the set of Fear and Loathing: Indianapolis. But even more so, when people started riding the inanimate animals instead of directly crowd surfing, I began to question when I’d start seeing unicorns and Neil Patrick Harris. Kids rode this soon-to-be-fossil like there was no tomorrow, with smiles on their faces that can be best described as creepy.

A group of people were watching up on the side of the stage, while I preferred the lower area next to the stage. I look up and see Luke and Casey from Gaza to my right. I take a second glance about five seconds later and Luke’s in his underwear, again. He doesn’t put his pants back on until several half-naked crowd surfs later.

Overall, Pig Destroyer killed and everyone knew it, even without the band’s samples working. As epic as this performance was, I’m not sure even the brontosaurus that everyone in the crowd copped a feel on beat the mayhem at Zanie’s Too.

Bloody kisses, nah, more like bloody faces

A brief rundown on the actual performances I saw:

• Suicide Note, fabulous.

• Sweet Cobra, fucking awesome, as expected.

I know what you’re thinking. “You went to Dudefest and only watched a handful of bands?” Well first, fuck you. Second, if you were witnessing the amazing craziness and straight up comedy I was, you’d think twice about hastening your hearing impairment as well.

During the hangsesh we had with Mitch from Dance Club Massacre, half of the_Network and random members of Gaza, a grip of random shit happened within the matter of three hours:

1. The_Network vocalist Mike celebrated being one year closer to being a member of AARP.
2. The_Network guitarist Kevin knocked the fuck out before midnight.

And last, but not least, Luke from Gaza plummeted on the pavement, resulting in a half swollen, bloody face and me embracing my inner motherly instincts. A wad of toilet paper still wasn’t enough to cleanse Luke’s bloody face and arms (which were bloody from him wiping his own face). But the dude was a trooper. Despite looking like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face from a past horrendous version of Batman, Luke managed to give a slowed version of Gaza’s adopted finger snap, thing – just like P. Diddy, he can’t stop, won’t stop.

Up next, day 3..

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant

Dudefest Day 1: Death and a handful of nickels

Friday, June 19

An ode to poo..

It’s day one of Dudefest, yet I’m still not in Indianapolis.
The dozen or so dudes of Gaza and the_Network, who shared the hardwood floors at the Error House, tag-teamed the shower, then parted ways for Indianapolis.

Gas, heart attacks and hallucinations

The_Network stopped for gas right outside the University of Illinois before heading to Indy, which is around $3.98 a gallon, making this Californian say things like, “What the fuck?” and “What the hell were their gas prices before the oil corp. execs decided to rape and pillage?”
You’d think a stop at the gas station would be completely normal. Everyone sits idle while the guy pumping the gas does his best not to wince at the amount of cash burning up in thin air.
But this day, in the matter of five minutes, an old man nearly drug his wife – who was halfway out the driverside door – across the gas station parking lot, while in the midst of what seemed to either be a heart attack, or severe dementia. After the gas station attendant ran out and managed to avoid all common sense by asking, “Should I call 9-1-1?” an ambulance showed up.
Seeing old people die wasn’t the end of it, I mean, that’s what old people do, they die. An average sized black dude on a mini bike drove through the whole scene, diverting our attention from the withered old man being strapped down to a gurney.
But still this wasn’t all.
Another random guy, who looked like one of the only vatos locos in town, strolled by the van doing his best gangster strut, and asked the guys if they were in a band. After answering yes, the guy asked the name of the band. But really, what vato would know who the_Network is? He’d have to be doing time for being scummy, that’s for sure.
But after the guy was given a response from Bennett, he said he’d heard of the band and that a friend from Mass. told him about the_Network. At this point, we were all questioning how PCP got into our drinking water.

Dudefest, Day 1

Here at BMA, we hold the term “fashionably late” with much importance when getting to a venue.
It was about 8 p.m., the_Network and Gaza were already at the Emerson Theater, yet the BMA staff lagged – but after spending the day with a bunch of crusty dudes, a shower had to be in order on my part.

Here’s what I recall about the night prior to heading over to Zanie’s Too:

• Talking about poo with Jon from Gaza

• Getting a dollars worth of nickels in change from the nearby McDonalds, ‘cause dude was too lazy to wait for paper money, and with no slot machines in sight, this was useless to me.

• Following those Utah hooligans of Gaza -- Casey, Luke, Mike and friend of Gaza, whose name I can’t remember for the life of me – back to their van, while they guzzled Bud Light and played catch with a football at the steps of a church.

• Watching only one band, Coliseum – Okay, two when adding the maybe five minutes of Torche (I think).

• Considering taping the repeated response we had to give when people asked us why The Red Chord couldn’t make it.

Two-pack a day voiced bartenders

At Zanie’s Too, there were two bartenders, neither were remotely attractive. And due to their two-pack-a-day voices, neither would even be hired as phone sex operators – that is unless you dig your chicks sounding like a Louis Armstrong and Barry White fusion. That’s pretty much a huge separation from California, where a majority of the time the bartenders are attractive, but then again, alcohol is more expensive and the bars close two hours earlier.

Here’s what the night mainly consisted of prior to the_Network playing:

• Kevin from the_Network and I whooped this guy’s ass in pool, not once, but twice. Apparently three times if you factor in the Kevin vs. guy-whose-name-I-can’t-remember’s first round.

• Luke from Gaza recapping his experience with getting a ride from Scott Hull of Pig Destroyer to the bar.

The_Network’s performance was an eye-opening experience, namely for Metal Jeff, the photographer traveling with the band. Jeff took Pete's peddle board straight to the eye, making him look like Ike Turner told him what's up from the grave. But that’s not all folks; pretty much all of Gaza was trying to get in on the mix during the scummers’ set, showing their drunken support, one bruised nipple or other form of bodily injury at a time.


Stay tunned for Day's two and three..

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant

Pre-Dudefest festivities, with dudes..

These guys..

It’s about 6:30 p.m. EST and after a five hour plane trip, I end up in a van with six smelly dudes.

Our destination is the Error House in Champaign, Ill. where the six crusty gents, otherwise known as the_Network, will play with another set of stinksters, Gaza.

The Legend of Maya Angelou

Once we reached our destination, the guys from Gaza proceeded to exchange gifts with the_Network. It was similar to that of a Native American trade, you know, where one tribe gives the other an animal carcass for a day’s supply of tobacco, or maybe some peyote. The only difference in this circumstance is that it wasn’t two tribes, but one set of silly guys, cleverly jabbing another for some laughs.

The black version of strawberry shortcake was handed over from Gaza’s altitude defying frontman, Jon, with a card reading, “To: the_Network; From: Gaza.” The doll was later dubbed “Maya Angelou” by the_Network guitarist Kevin.

Gaza Luke + the_Network Kevin = pure comedy

Alcohol isn’t necessary when these two get together. Even both of them sober in a room will have you on the floor with side-splitting laughter. But it wouldn’t be rock ‘n’ roll if someone wasn’t drunk, and why stop with one person when you’ve got a dozen ready to put down a cold one?

Nevertheless, this isn’t about a rowdy group of beer guzzlers, it’s about a specific pair.

Luke from Gaza and Kevin of the_Network could probably be easily compared to Cheech and Chong, or maybe even two Cheeches, since both equally share the spotlight with their banter. But if I tried to describe some of the shit these two made jokes about, none of you would even laugh. Not because it didn’t make any sense, but because it didn’t come straight from the duo’s mouths.

Here’s a short video of Bennet and Kevin from the_Network and Luke from Gaza doin’ what they do best, having a couple frosty charlies, check it:

Stay tunned for further installments.

-Sheena, BMA Publicity Assistant