Thursday, August 13, 2009

the_Network Announces US Tour with Australia's Robotosaurus

the_Network reveals plans to tour the eastern half of the US this fall with Australia’s Robotosaurus. Starting in Texas and ending in the_Network’s home state of New Hampshire, the tour includes shows with such bands as Strung Out, Rise And Fall, and Fight Amp.


No strangers to the road, the_Network has toured Australia, the UK, Puerto Rico, and the US, all within the past year.


the_Network’s second full length album, Bishop Kent Manning, is due out September 15 on Black Market Activities. Produced by Kurt Ballou (Converge, Trap Them), Bishop Kent Manning is a concept album that follows the epic story of a corrupt televangelist’s decline.




Oct 2 Austin, TX @ Red 7 (w/ Strung Out)

Oct 3 Houston, TX @ Moto Warehouse (w/ Dissent)

Oct 4 New Orleans, LA @ Dragon's Den (w/ Thou)

Oct 5 Birmingham, AL @ a storage unit

Oct 6 Charleston, SC @ Weekends Pub (w/ Nations)

Oct 7 Raleigh, NC @ The Brewery (w/ Rise and Fall, Bracewar)

Oct 8 Richmond, VA @ Nara Sushi (w/ Fight Amp, The Catalyst)

Oct 9 Philadelphia, PA @ Kung Fu Necktie (w/ Fight Amp, Rosetta)

Oct 10 Binghamton, NY @ The Downtown Quarterback (w/ Dance-A-Tron)

Oct 11 Brooklyn, NY @ The Charleston (w/ Mabus)

Oct 12 New York, NY @ Lit Lounge

Oct 16 Providence, RI @ The Sweatshop (w/ Krang)

Oct 17 Burlington, VT @ 242 Main St (w/ Ghosting)

Oct 18 Dover, NH @ The Brickhouse



Tuesday, August 11, 2009

This Destroy Destroy Destroy fan is so tr00


Destroyx3 Guitarist Jeremiah Scott with Battle Slut tattooed homeboy Bobby!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Black Market Activities Reveals the_Network Album Details, Unveils New Track

Black Market Activities proudly reveals its next release: Bishop Kent Manning, the staggering second album by the_Network, out September 15 on BMA.


Produced by Kurt Ballou (Converge, Trap Them) at Godcity Studio and mastered by Nick Zampiello (Torche, Unsane) at New Alliance, Bishop Kent Manning is a concept album that follows the epic story of a corrupt televangelist’s decline. Opening with the desperate cry, “I just got caught blood-redhanded selling absolution for a lion's share,” the album tells its tale through ten tracks that veer seamlessly from jagged aggro chaos to haunting melody and back again. Inspired by the likes of Coalesce and Botch, Bishop Kent Manning is an album of anthems -- both complex and simplistic, atonal and melodic, it’s all from the gut and it’s all punk rock.


To celebrate the upcoming release of Bishop Kent Manning, Black Market Activities unveils “You Fucking Fakes,” a song that embodies the spirit of the new album and gives a taste of how far the_Network has evolved. Stream “You Fucking Fakes,” here:

http://www.myspace.com/thenetworkmetal


And read an exclusive excerpt from the short story written by the_Network guitarist Kevin Howley to accompany the album, here:

http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=320937


Bishop Kent Manning’s full tracklisting is as follows:


1) From Holy Water To Holy Wars

2) Following And Failing

3) Your Own Personal Time Bomb

4) Service With A Smile

5) Telethons For The Rich

6) Paranoid Deserter

7) Easter Just Stopped Showing Up

8) Corpse Paint

9) You Fucking Fakes

10) Kent Manning


Look for the_Network on tour in the US throughout the fall in support of Bishop Kent Manning. Renowned as champions of the “do-it-yourself, eat-shit mentality,” the_Network has already toured Australia, England, Scotland, and Puerto Rico, all within the past year.


http://www.thenetworkmusic.com

http://www.myspace.com/thenetworkmetal

Video of the Week: Abominable Iron Sloth - "Hats Made of Veal and that New Car Scent"



(Video Cred: Directed by - Scott Cramer, Produced by - Three Hench Men / ILine Entertainment)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Artist Entry: Lye By Mistake hotshot Maxx Tempo gives us an LBM summertime update


(Photo credit: Jake Didion)

Summer time is here and in full effect in muggy old St. Charles Missouri, the birthplace of the Louis and Clark Expedition and Big League Chew. The weather here is to die for. Seriously, I’ll be surprised if I don’t get sucked bone dry by all the god damn mosquitoes. I can’t even jerk off at Naomi’s place without getting bit by one.
I know most of you out there are thinking “I wonder what those crazy guys from Lye By Mistake have been up to?” Well if you must know, the crew has just wrapped up production of their second full length Compact Disk entitled, "Fea Jur." In the meantime the crew has been up to the old routine of life at home between tours.
When Ben Whailin isn’t gigging with Lye By Mistake he’s rocking out with famed cover band, The Money Shot. Ben also teaches a legion of young squirts the way of the guitar in an almost religious fashion. If he’s not playing or teaching he’ll just pose in front of the mirror practicing guitar moves with his iconic Music Man strapped on only inches away from chipping a tooth. Ben Whailin also loves to paint in his spare time using his guitar as a paint brush--come to think of it, I can‘t say I‘ve ever seen him with out his beloved guitar strapped on.
Underneath Whailin’s wings is Murl Philpot, a young, talented, and hip guitarist with a dream to get filthy stinkin' rich with this band. Murl gigs around town with a group of gentile gentlemen that call themselves The Gorge, be on the lookout for these guys. I’m telling you right here and now, in a few years they’re going to be the next Color Me Badd.
Then there’s Jonnie Pokket. At it again schlepping the meat, not at your local grocer though. He’s been working with the Production Company 101 dicks getting ready to launch an instructional Bass Tapping/Finger Banging technique DVD due out just in time for the holidays.
As for me, well I’m teaming up with Jonnie and we are preparing an exciting new line of double-sided dildos called the "Tag Team Duo," which will be molded true to our "forms" with a combined length of 9 inches! I’ve also been working on my tan, and I just enlisted in a Tae Kwon Do class to get me in shape to play the new material Live.
We played a show last week for a loyal crowd full of Lye by fans, by no mistake. The new material has been completely obliterating faces, where the old material would leave faces melted like a grilled cheese sandwich this new shit is leaving nothing behind--not even a fart particle can survive. We are unleashing a wave of sound that not even Helen Keller could withstand. If you think you are man enough to harkin' such an album, you’d best prepare yourself for audible annihilation. "Fea Jur" drops in record stores in Fall ‘09.

Love,

Maxx Tempo

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Video of the Week: Engineer live in NYC @ Death by Audio



Engineer is currently on the road with Tides. Use this video to pre-game accordingly.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

BMA RANDOM BLASTS - 7-9-09

Destroy Destroy Destroy guitarist Jeremiah Scott will be interviewed live on 91.7 WMWM Salem State University radio tomorrow at 5 p.m. EST. http://www.myspace.com/destroydestroydestroy

Members of Nashville, Tenn.’s Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are featured along side members of Misery Index and Seven Year Existence in this week’s “Video of the Week” on the Black Market Activities blog. http://blackmarketactivities.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/tonydanzatapdanceextravaganza

Lords vocalist/guitarist Chris Owens and Coliseum drummer Chris Maggio are joining forces for a side project. More information to come as it develops. http://www.myspace.com/lordsoflouisville

Romans guitarist Justin Gonyea recently started running a studio/venue called “The Long Mustache.” http://www.myspace.com/romansnoise, http://www.myspace.com/thelongmoustache

Whoever thought Koalas and Leprechauns could be paired up? The_Network guitarist Kevin Howley has a second Australian tour diary entry on the Deciblog: http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=314618, http://www.myspace.com/thenetworkmetal

Paria, the_Network and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are now on Facebook. In order for the bands to make a Facebook URL, they need over 1000 friends and are asking for your help in reaching that goal! http://www.facebook.com/pages/PARIA/15117509542, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/the_Network/104224565951?ref=ts, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/The-Tony-Danza-Tapdance-Extravaganza/69393437752?ref=ts

Paria and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are also on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/pariamusic

http://www.twitter.com/ttdte

Follow team BMA on Twitter!

http://www.twitter.com/sheenabma

http://www.twitter.com/michellebma


Monday, July 6, 2009

Video of the Week: Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza guest apperance!

Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza vocalist Jessie Freeland and guitarist Layne Meylain join members of Misery Index and Seven Year Existence at The Phoenix in Champaign, Ill.
(Video credit: Amanda Wright).



Friday, July 3, 2009

the_Network's Kevin Howley now on the Deciblog!

Check out the second entry Kev did for the Deciblog:

http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=314618


Our little Digi is movin' on up!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

BMA Weekly Grind - 6-23-09

It’s not a sausage fest, it’s Dudefest!

Three days worth of smelly dudes embracing their punk roots—and Slip N Slides—storms into Indianapolis from July 17-19. Non-crust folks may only be able to tolerate a solitary day of such a pungency of the senses, which is where our suggestion for watching GAZA and Lords on Saturday of the fest comes in. Salt Lake City’s resident conscientious objectors are back again this year, after leaving last year’s Dudefest salivating at the gills. The last remaining rebels of the South follow later Saturday evening to kick what’s left of the concert goers’ corpses in the ribs. Other bands scheduled to join the stage with both GAZA and Lords Dudefest weekend are Torche, Russian Circles, Harvey Milk, Furnace and more.

For a complete listing of bands, venue and ticket information, visit the Dudefest MySpace page:

http://www.myspace.com/dudefestindiana

Paria run to the Dakotas and back!

Maybe not physically, but the band’s tour dates are as follows:

6/25 - The Sydney - Omaha, Nebraska

6/26 - Knickerbockers w/The Recession - Lincoln, Nebraska

7/11 - The Beat w/High Hopes - Minneapolis, Minnesota

7/17 - Nights of Columbus (w/Old Ironside) - Sioux Falls, South Dakota

7/18 - The Red Raven (w/Battlefields & Old Ironside) - Fargo, North Dakota


An excerpt of Paria bassist Dustin Treinen describing the band’s wacky relationship with Psyopus in a recent interview with Thrash Magazine:

“We were in the middle of a song and a girl walked out holding a big sign that said something like “Psyopus owns you pussies!” The next thing I knew, my band was being pelted with flour and glitter wrapped in paper towels. We were caught completely off guard because as far as we knew, Psyopus was 5 hours away from us….”

The full interview can be read here:

http://www.thrashmag.com/interviews/content.aspx?id=4598

http://www.myspace.com/paria


Engineer kicking ass and taking names with Tides!

The most up-to-date July tour dates and venues scheduled for Engineer thus far:

7/12 - TBA - Rochester, NY

7/13 - The Vineyard - Kent, OH

7/14 - The Metalfrat - Ann Arbor, MI

7/15 - The Tower Room - Antioch, IL

7/16 - The 1511 w/ Comadre & Surroundings - Indianapolis, IN

7/17 - TBA - Evansville, IN

7/18 - The Hideaway - Johnson City, TN

7/19 - SK Net - Charlotte, NC

7/20 - Nara Sushi - Richmond, VA

7/21 - The Velvet Lounge - Washington DC

7/22 - The Hexagon - Baltimore, MD

7/23 - Kung Fu Necktie w/ Fight Amp - Philadelphia, PA

7/24 - The Cherry St Station – Wallingford, CT

7/25 - Easy Axxess - Pawtucket, RI

7/26 - Anchors Up! - Haverhill, MA

7/27 - The Long Mustache - Burlington, VT

7/28 - Recess w/ Fuck the Facts - Syracuse, NY

http://www.myspace.com/engineercooldude


A plethora of BMA releases comin’ at cha, real soon!

9/15 – Lye By Mistake – “Fea Jur”

9/15 – The_Network – “The Bishop Kent Manning”

10/13 – Sweet Cobra – TBA

10/27 – The Abominable Iron Sloth – “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Heaviness”


Follow us on Twitter, Blogspot and troll our Web sites for the latest BMA rhetoric:

http://blackmarketactivities.blogspot.com

http://www.blackmarketactivities.com

http://www.myspace.com/blackmarketactivities

http://www.twitter.com/sheenabma

http://www.twitter.com/michellebma


Monday, June 22, 2009

New Lords interview with HardTimes.ca!

Lords' Chris Owens isn't shy, folks. Who else would compare today's mainstream hardcore to '80s hair metal?

Lords Interview HARDTIMES.CA

Friday, June 19, 2009

Shaun Luu Horror Fest: Tales from the pants party

To complete a week of recapping on Shaun Luu Horror Fest in Syracuse, NY is a final blog entry from the BMA family's resident mystery human, followed by the second live video of the_Network.


Day one: Friday, June 12 – Boston, MA

Ripped pants, spaghetti sandwiches, delicious treats and booze.

All three pretty much sum up the days leading up to Shaun Luu Horror Fest in Syracuse, NY.

After exhausting all of my electronics on the non-stop, five hour plane ride on Friday, departing from San Diego, CA, and arriving in Boston, MA, I was ready to check out the portion of the nation yet-to-be discovered by yours truly—but apparently by most other humans.

For a first timer in Boston, I could go on for days about the things I saw. But chances are many of the people reading this have already been there and are thinking, “relax Cali, I’ve already run like 20 miles around what you just saw.”

I was a sheltered kid, OK? Traveling was a rarity in my household.

I’ll save you all some eye-rolling, and stick to the highlights:

· Vegan food in the North End, joined by post ingestion grub crawling across the plate where my vegan slider once sat.

· Chocolate covered cannoli from Mike’s Bakery. Two of these suckers proved to be too many—my first fail in pastry eating.

· Boston Common sidewalk dweller proudly exclaiming his awareness of what resided beneath our pastry box—“I know what yah gaa-aht!”

· An Irish bar playing techno and a bartender who really wanted to prove he knew his Guinness.

· Map fail in Boston, no “You Are Here” dots to be found on ANY of the city maps.

· My guide stepping in a murky, dog-shit textured puddle of dirt that adhered to his shoe for the next three days.

Day 2: Saturday, June 13 – New Hampshire


It’s 11 a.m. and time for the_Network to hit up the jam spot before heading to a show in Portsmouth, NH.


All I’ve been told about Portsmouth for the past hour was that it’s a city by the ocean and it’s awesome—too bad the show ended up really being in another city adjacent to Portsmouth, so all my dreams of grandeur went down the shitter.


Greenland, NH wasn’t anything spectacular, nor was the show the_Network played. What was supposed to be a fest ended up being more like a grab-and-go liquor store—go in, do your stuff and get out—and your choices for a beverage were watered down beer, or one lone bottle of whiskey.


I’ll leave the Greenland gig at that—what follows next is much tastier.


Pre day three: Sandwiches and six hours of open road


Massive French rolls covered in assorted grilled meats, spiced up condiments and layers of melted cheese was the best idea for a fitting meal to try and forget the fact that we had a six hour drive before us to Syracuse, NY.


Restlessness prevented some of us from sleeping, others knocked out in meat-induced food comas, but upon reaching Keith from Architect’s house, everyone slept like they were trying to kick Swine Flu.


Day three: Shaun Luu Horror Fest – Syracuse, NY


Two pound sandwiches were a great idea, yesterday.


Breakfast at Mom’s Diner in Syracuse had to be the best choice of the day—so far, anyway.

Curry and Mediterranean spiced eggs were the highlight of the meal, and Recess Coffee and Roastery provided its glorious conclusion (shameless plug for Ed Gein).


Properly caffeinated, I watched the_Network wake up the half-glazed over audience, with distorted bliss running through my ears and Mikey Bones assaulting random members of the crowd.


Engineer followed shortly after, playing to a mostly full room of eyes gleaming with excitement for the band of brothers. No matter how hard I try to describe how fucking great Engineer was, no description will do justice to the post-show exciting masses, who were evidently amazed given the rampant amount of prideful name droppings and “fucking rad”’s being uttered upon their departure to fresh air.


Architect reminded me why I just traveled nearly 3,000 miles. My mind was literally blown and dripping down the side of my skull post set—they definitely need more than a Swiffer to clean that shit up. I was told they deliver every fucking time, but at this particular show, they were near God-like—though I bet the band would be disgusted to share a comparison with God.


Ed Gein. Do I really need to say anything? Seriously. So many people have hyped up how fucking stellar this band is live. How it’s been years since they’ve shared a stage. The more I heard, the more stoked I became. I didn’t doubt for a second that Ed Gein wouldn’t live up the hype. I was so fucking right. If everyone else’s mind wasn’t lying in a pool of chunky mucus on the floor, I would not have doubted it. The crowd knew what they had just witnessed was magnificent, chanting “Ed Gein” and “play more songs,” to which the band responded, “We don’t have any more songs!”


If you missed out on the fest, no worries. All of the afore mentioned BMA bands are writing for coming albums—the_Network’s “The Bishop Kent Manning” is out in September—so you’ll get your chance to make a mess of the floor soon.


-Sheena



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Have you hugged your mom today? Ed Gein's Aaron Jenkins reminds us of the importance of friends and family in the wake of Shaun Luu Horror Fest!

I'm not a religious person. I don't believe in god or the devil. I don't believe in the afterlife in the traditional sense. But I do believe that there is a lot about this world, this life, that we don't understand. That we will never understand. Until we pass on and find out first hand. And I can not shake the feeling that Shaun was with us last night. I'm man enough say that I'm tearing up as I'm typing this and I cried like a little baby many times yesterday. I've generally held up pretty well during the fest over the past two years, but something about yesterday was just unreal. I miss Shaun. I miss his weird, uncomfortable sense of humor. I miss his full body head banging. I miss seeing him at practically every show no matter what style of music it was. I miss his enthusiasm and his intensity. I think he would have had an absolute blast yesterday. And I want to thank each and every one of you for being there. And I want to say this to all of you....none of us knows how long we have on this earth. It could be years. It could be days. It could be less. Tell your friends how much they mean to you every time you see them. Tell your family you love them. It's easy through out our day-to-day lives to forget how important our friendships are. It's easy to take things for granted. It's easy to not see how absolutely precious and wonderful each day is. Please don't forget.

Our community is amazing. When we all come together there is nothing that can't be done. We all may have our differences of opinion. Our feuds. Our misjudgments and our grudges. But when it all comes down, when we take a minute out of our day to really think about what we have here in this city it is amazing. At the movies alone we raised over $3197 for the benefit fund AFTER most expenses were covered (we still have to cover return shipping for the film prints and we won't know how much that comes out to until Wednesday when Jeff gets them shipped. So that total will change a little. I'll keep everyone informed). We haven't had a chance to go through the money from yesterday yet but the final head count for the bands was 311 people! And from what I've been told a lot of people were paying extra to get in.

The bands from out of town were floored by how amazing the people in Syracuse are. They were very glad to be a part of yesterday. And many many thanks to the fucking awesome bands we have right here in this town. Every last one of you is top fucking notch. Ed Gein has played with a lot of bands in a lot of cities and I can tell you we have some of the best bands out there right in our home town. Thank you all for doing what you do.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY EXCLUSIVE VIDEO PREMIERE FOR "THE WRETCHED FOREST" ON MYSPACE METAL TODAY!!

For Immediate Release

May 26, 2009

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY EXCLUSIVE VIDEO PREMIERE FOR "THE WRETCHED FOREST" ON MYSPACE METAL TODAY!!

Nashville natives Destroy, Destroy, Destroy will exclusively premiere its new music video for "The Wretched Forest" this Tuesday on MySpace Metal.

Check the video out in all its glory!


The video for "The Wretched Forest" transcends historical time periods, taking us back to when quests for the Holy Grail and slaying dragons were more than mere legend spoken by elders. "The Wretched Forest" is directed by Steve Stemac, with post production by Ryan Kendrick of Digital Bohemia.

"The Wretched Forest," from Dx3's recent Black Market Activities release "Battle Sluts," is in itself a perilous quest to revive the artistic premise on which creative music videos once began, with its 8 mm style film and fantasy-based story line.

Prepare to immerse yourself in a legend of honor, integrity and heroic valor by checking out songs from the band's release "Battle Sluts" on its MySpace page:


Or on the Black Market Activities MySpace page:


Check out more work from Ryan of Digital Bohemia:

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Goin' down under: the_Network invades Australia, pt. 1



(note: Kev Digi is not pictured in the Australian Outback, but the wilderness in Reno, NV)

(Photo credit: Metal Jeff)


April 20, 2009


Coinciding with Hitler’s birthday and the anniversary of the Columbine massacre, Pete and I are sitting in the LAX Airport waiting to board our flight to Australia. In order to save money on “Entertainment Visas,” and to avoid all the other injustices traveling bands usually endure, the whole band decided to take separate flights to the other side of the Earth. It was just by coincidence that Pete and I got the same flight to Australia. Shane and Bones are sharing a flight, but poor Vic is cruising solo the whole way.


It should be made clear that the_Network will be playing this Australian tour with Shane “the main brain” Frisby on bass and Vic “the prick” on drums. So later in the diary, perhaps, when I say something like “Shane and I built the London Bridge with the help of some ‘Sheila’ with daddy issues,” or “Shane, Vic, and I drank a keg of Foster’s while watching some Australian fuck tapes with some Aborigines and their semi-tamed Kangaroo family,” there won’t be any confusion. Traveling is expensive; and traveling across the entire world is very expensive, so our full time scumbag partners in crime, Tim and Bennett, couldn’t make it. Shane’s experienced the embarrassment of touring with us before so he’s prepared, and Vic seems just sleazy enough to not even bat an eyelash when Pete drags a girl into a bathroom, a girl drags Mikey Bones into a bathroom, and Shane and I have our hands deep in each other’s pockets in a bathroom.


Back to the issue at hand, I’ve just been assigned a window seat with my own little entertainment system installed into the headrest in front of me so my grundle’s tingling with excitement (and a few milligrams of Xanax) at the thought of maybe watching “Mall Cop” or “Confessions of a Shopaholic.” I’m writing my local congressman to ensure that The Dark Knight, Rambo, or any Rocco Siffredi films are the only legal entertainment one should experience when remaining stationary for more than four hours. We can all make a difference.


Oh, quick effeminate celebrity sighting to report. Like I said, we’re in the Los Angeles airport, and you can’t whip out your cock anywhere in L.A. without offending some B list celebrity or obscure television actor. In the airport, I saw an actress from the HBO serious “Big Love” rushing out of the restroom (after hopefully just eating cocaine). If you’re an HBO slut like myself and are familiar with the show Big Love, you’ll know the woman who almost became Bill Paxton’s fourth wife. That was her. I find that show a bit unrealistic because I’m positive that Bill Paxton doesn’t have three wives; he surely has about eight or nine. I didn’t get a chance to speak to the actress but did get a picture of the bathroom she most likely just sprayed with a digested lunch and shame.


The Boeing 747 we’ve just boarded has a second floor where Pete and I assumed we’d be able to enjoy a few cocktails while wearing airline bequeathed tuxedos and James Bond shoe phones for graciously fitting in with the movers and shakers of the world. I haven’t gotten laid in embarrassingly too long and my imagination got the best of me. I thought I’d join the mile high club with the type of beauty you see in postcards from Paris. I was supposed to furiously lift her silk skirt just high enough to get the job done and then charm her into a puddle of ooze throughout the rest of the flight; maybe call her again someday and get married. I’d tell her I just need a few years to build my empire and to save the world and she would stoically wait for me. Damn my imagination! And damn the rules of the 747. Instead of discussing geopolitics waiting for a dry martini upstairs during the flight, Pete and I learned that the upstairs remains reserved for the true blue bloods and high, high end prostitutes. Even at 30,000 feet, the separation of classes is a necessity. I mean, American Airlines can’t have some mother of three wearing a Mickey Mouse sweat shirt ordering a Bud Light on the second floor! It’s bad enough that we lowlifes have to walk past the first class pricks with their mimosas and too much leg room when boarding to the back of the plane where there are only one and a half bathrooms that are constantly occupied by body odor. I endure all this without a cigarette by the way. I hope all you holier than thou non-smokers board a flight with Stephen Hawking behind the wheel.


Oh! I’ve just been handed a menu. Is a menu really necessary on a flight? How many pages does it take to say “cold” shit or “hot” shit? I have to admit that I enjoy airline food. The meal is just another thing to keep my mind off the Parisian model I’m supposed to be fucking like an animal in the upstairs bathroom. An airline meal is like a Hungry Man served as filet mignon minus the delicious brownie and delicious food. “Sigh.” So I’ve got a window seat, an empty seat next to me, an airline menu, and, Parisian model or not, I’m going to invite myself to join the mile high club soon enough.


Another layover: Pete and I are on our final flight from Brisbane to Adelaide, Australia and I have just met one of the most inspirational people I’ve ever known. She’s an older woman named Peta. She’s on her way to Adelaide to visit her daughter and grandchildren. I started a conversation with her immediately upon taking my seat. (I believe I may have a fraction of woman’s intuition.) She has sugar sweet, wise eyes. A real hippy might say she’s beaming with an almost radioactive aura. She seems like the type of mother orphans see in their dreams. She’s also facing death. Really, she told me she’s actively living out her “Bucket List.” I didn’t delve into what’s ailing her, and her optimism wouldn’t even let me tell her how sorry I feel for her. It’s obvious she’s past that and is too tough for anyone’s pity. She may be the bravest person I’ll ever meet (If I don’t die young, I picture myself wilting, feeble, dying like a needy little nothing). Peta said she used to waste time worrying about the future and has now told herself to not look beyond two days ahead. You’d never guess that she’s sick, tired, or troubled in the slightest. I’m sitting next to a living saint. She gave me all her contact info and told me to immediately get in touch with her if anything goes wrong. This is where my brain starts up the strings section, soft music reverberates through my skull and bones, and the crane shot of me staring out the plane’s window pans back; farther and farther until my life and I become as obscure as the squares of land pock marking the world beneath us. As jagged, grotesque, and stupid life can be, it’s always worth living.


My wildest, sexiest, and basically impossible dreams didn’t come true on that flight, but something real and much more important did. That’s how life is I guess.