BMA RANDOM BLASTS - 7-9-09

Destroy Destroy Destroy guitarist Jeremiah Scott will be interviewed live on 91.7 WMWM Salem State University radio tomorrow at 5 p.m. EST. http://www.myspace.com/destroydestroydestroy

Members of Nashville, Tenn.’s Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are featured along side members of Misery Index and Seven Year Existence in this week’s “Video of the Week” on the Black Market Activities blog. http://blackmarketactivities.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/tonydanzatapdanceextravaganza

Lords vocalist/guitarist Chris Owens and Coliseum drummer Chris Maggio are joining forces for a side project. More information to come as it develops. http://www.myspace.com/lordsoflouisville

Romans guitarist Justin Gonyea recently started running a studio/venue called “The Long Mustache.” http://www.myspace.com/romansnoise, http://www.myspace.com/thelongmoustache

Whoever thought Koalas and Leprechauns could be paired up? The_Network guitarist Kevin Howley has a second Australian tour diary entry on the Deciblog: http://decibelmagazine.com/Content.aspx?ncid=314618, http://www.myspace.com/thenetworkmetal

Paria, the_Network and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are now on Facebook. In order for the bands to make a Facebook URL, they need over 1000 friends and are asking for your help in reaching that goal! http://www.facebook.com/pages/PARIA/15117509542, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/the_Network/104224565951?ref=ts, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pages/The-Tony-Danza-Tapdance-Extravaganza/69393437752?ref=ts

Paria and Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza are also on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/pariamusic

http://www.twitter.com/ttdte

Follow team BMA on Twitter!

http://www.twitter.com/sheenabma

http://www.twitter.com/michellebma

New Lords interview with HardTimes.ca!

Lords' Chris Owens isn't shy, folks. Who else would compare today's mainstream hardcore to '80s hair metal?

Lords Interview HARDTIMES.CA

LORDS invades the Great White North in June!

Lords is set to tour Canada in June and will be joined by Barn Burner, Titan and Vilipend.

6/10 – Hamilton, ON @ Casbah (all ages)
6/11 – Toronto, ON @ Sneaky Dees (19+ bar show)
6/12 – Ottawa, ON @ Cafe Dekeuf (19+ Bar show)
6/13 – Montreal, QC @ Katacombes (18+ bar show)
6/14 – Sudbury, ON @ Adanac Shack (Dry all ages show)
6/15 – TBA
6/16 – London, ON @ Call The Office (all ages)
6/17 – St. Catharines, ON @ 73 (Dry all ages show)
6/18 – Kingston, ON @ Bar None (19+ bar show)
6/19 – Guelph, ON @ Shadow (all ages)
6/20 – Mississauga, ON @ City Center / Coliseum Stage
(outdoor festival / dry show)
6/21 – Windsor, ON @ Coach and Horse (19+ bar show)

Artist Entry: Lords vocalist Chris Owens dreams of SS shit soldiers

Does Shitler have a mustache?

I had another pipe dream the other night.

I have a lot of great movie ideas that I talk about a lot. Most recently it was a movie about killer shit, the working title I have right now is, "Foul Movement: Rise of the Turd Reich."

I'm still working out all the details, but the general idea is that you have Shitler leading an army of living excrement, and the U.S. government brings Jesus out of the cryogenic deep freeze they've been keeping him in (since the end of WWII, when the Nazis had figured out how to summon the Christ back to a human form) to battle Shitler.

At first Jesus is all pussy, weak, and doesn't have any of his magic powers, so he goes to the North Pole to train with Santa Claus (who plays a cross between Yoda, and Q from James Bond).

Santa has his elves construct a bunch of special weapons for Jesus that all revolve around the stigmata holes in his hands (including a crucifix jetpack), and gives them to Jesus for a birthday present on Christmas morning, so that he can go battle Shitler.

Oh yeah -- there's got to be a scene where killer shit comes out of a dudes ass and bites his dick off.

Artist Entry: Lords' Chris Owens gives 'wet dream' a new meaning

The Dream, pt. I

I had a dream the other night, in the dream I was on a very crowded beach -- full of frat spring break types -- the beach was supposed to be in Columbus, Ohio.

Anyway, I walk around this large rock formation that's protruding out into the ocean, and when I get to the other side there is this big cove, with a small island in the middle of it and this narrow rock walkway leading out to it.

I know that for some reason I have to go to the small island, but then a bunch of the spring breakers run out on the walk way and it crumbles in to the ocean. They all scramble back to the beach while we're all standing on the shore looking out at the island, when some naked fat lady comes up to me and says, "What? It's just water!"

She then jumps in the water and starts swimming. So I jump in and swim out towards the Island, I get pretty close to it when all of a sudden I bump into the dead body of a white guy in mechanics clothes floating just below the surface. The dead guy looks up at me and grabs my arm, pulling me under the water. He mouths something to me, I cant hear what he's saying but the words flash in my brain, in faded black letters ( in the Iron Maiden font) on red background it says, "One day you will be asked to serve your rap community."

Then I wake up.

Weird, huh?

BMA News Update: Animosity rages with the Russkies; Cancer Bats make the top 10 on Rock Sound and more

It's almost November 4th, which means absolutely nothing to us at BMA -- other than we're edging toward to two exceptional releases (Dance Club Massacre, Architect).

We're not here to tell you to vote or die, but you best read or, uh, well you probably won't die -- still we're not responsible for any unfortunate "accidents."

Animosity recently played Russia, here's a few words from vocalist Leo Miller on that:
"...the experience has been overwhelmingly awesome. The shows have been totally out of control and we have been treated so well. We just finished up the "Hell on Earth" tour through Europe, which was a great time, but not really an Animosity style party. It feels great to be playing smaller clubs with real metal fans losing their minds. Assuming the reds don't sequester and disappear us at the border, we will be heading into the upcoming JFAC tour with full force and will probably work up some older songs for the set list from 'Empires.' Party 'till you're dead!"

Cancer Bats were voted #8 on the Rock Sound list for the "Albums of 2008." Congrats dudes!

Lords' release "Fuck all Y'all Motherfuckers" has a review in Metal Edge. Here's a tidbit from the review:
"Lords is a punk rock band at heart. Let’s start there. And though they don’t necessarily play punk songs—in fact, they play dirty heavy metal tunes full of sudden time and tempo changes—there’s a definite punk rock sensibility to their music....."

BMA News Update: holy megaton of tours, Batman! Plus other news from the BMA family

So we've been absent. Shit happens.
But still, the BMA News Update you are about to read will pretty much make up for the month hiatus.
I mean, hell, we could have gone and pulled a "Chinese Democracy."
Now, to the news:

Dance Club Massacre has released the song "Hoosh Hoosh" from the upcoming Nov. 11 release, "Circle of Death." Check out the song on the DCM MySpace page.
The band has also canceled its October tour, due to scheduling conflicts.

Romans are being featured in the September issue of Metal Edge Magazine, pick one up!

Louisville band Lords will make its BMA debut on Oct. 14 with "Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers."

November is election time -- no other month would be more fitting for an Architect release. The band will unleash a few post-election lullabies via "Ghost of the Saltwater Machines" on Nov. 25 . A little from Architect vocalist Keith on the meaning of the album:

"War, famine, greed, depletion of natural resources, etc. As well as all the interpersonal trappings we have -- such as losing touch with our humanity and getting lost in a world of material possessions. Our species is just getting dumber and lazier, not to mention we follow archaic religions and irrelevant laws. We as people are sort of just saltwater machines and the ghost of our negative existence will surely be coming back to haunt us."

Architect has a rough version of the song "Death and Taxes" from the upcoming release posted on the band's MySpace. Fall tour dates will be announced shortly.


A plethora of bands from team BMA are touring, or scheduled to tour shortly, check it.

Lords is hittin' the road, behold:

10/4 - LOUISVILLE, KY @ Cahoots
10/11 - DALLAS, TX @ The Lounge
10/12 - AUSTIN, TX @ Red 7
10/13 - EL PASO, TX @ The Perclator
10/14 - TUSCON, AZ @ The Living Room
10/15 - PHOENIX, AZ @ Modified Arts

Khann will tour with Wetnurse beginning early October:
10/5 - WILMINGTON, NC @ Soapbox
10/6 - CHARLOTTE, NC @ The Milestone w/ Skeletonwitch,
10/7 - ATLANTA, GA @ The Drunken Unicorn
10/8 - ORLANDO, FL @ Black Box Collective
10/9 - MIAMI, FL @ Churchill's w/ Light Yourself on Fire
10/10 - TAMPA, FL @ Transitions Gallery w/ Light Yourself on Fire
10/11 - TALLAHASSEE, FL @ St Mike's w/ Light Yourself on Fire
10/14 - NASHVILLE, TN @ The Five Spot
10/16 - INDIANAPOLIS, IN @ The 1511
10/17 - CHICAGO, IL @ Beat Kitchen w/ Plague Bringer
10/18 - DAYTON, OH @ Dayton Dirt Collective
10/19 - PITTSBURGH, PA @ Smiling Moose w/ Complete Failure
10/21 - KINGSTON, NY @ The Basement
10/22 - BURLINGTON, VT @ Wasted City w/ Romans
10/23 - PORTLAND, ME @ Geno's
10/24 - WORCESTER, MA @ Forbes Street
10/26 - DOYLESTOWN, PA @ Moose Lodge w/ No People
11/2 - BROOKLYN, NY @ Europa w/ Harvey Milk

Animosity is currently on the "Hell on Earth" tour in Europe with The Red Chord, Walls of Jericho, Evergreen Terrace, Cataract and Stick To Your Guns until mid October. Following in November, Animosity will venture out on a U.S. tour with Job for a Cowboy, Hate Eternal, All Shall Perish and Anotations of an Autopsy, dates are as follows:

11/13 POMONA, CA @ Glasshouse Music Hall
11/14 BAKERSFIELD, CA @ The Dome
11/15 SACRAMENTO, CA @ The Boardwalk
11/16 PORTLAND, OR @ Hawthorne Theatre
11/17 SEATTLE, WA @ El Corazon
11/18 BOISE, ID @ The Venue
11/20 COLORADO SPRINGS, CO @ The Black Sheep
11/21 LAWRENCE, KS @ Bottleneck
11/22 IOWA CITY, IA @ The Picador
11/23 ST. PAUL, MN @ Station 4
11/25 DETROIT, MI @ Magic Stick
11/26 PITTSBURGH, PA @ Strummers
11/27 LONDON, ON @ The Embassy Hotel
11/28 BURLINGTON, VT @ Higher Ground
11/29 PORTLAND, ME @ The Station
11/30 PROVIDENCE, RI @ The Living Room
12/1 FARMINGDALE, NY @ The Crazy Donkey
12/2 SAYERVILLE, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
12/3 BALTIMORE, MD @ Otto Bar
12/4 RICHMOND, VA @ Canal Club (Downstairs)
12/5 WILMINGTON, NC @ Soapbox Laundro-Lounge
12/6 ATLANTA, GA @ The Masquerade
12/7 KNOXVILLE, TN @ Valarium
12/9 LITTLE ROCK, AR @ The Village
12/10 TULSA, OK @ The Marquee
12/11 DALLAS TX @ The Door
12/12 MCALLEN, TX @ Cine El Rey Theatre
12/13 AUSTIN, TX @ Red 7
12/14 ODESSA, TX @ Dos Amigos
12/15 FARMINGTON, NM @ Gators
12/16 TUCSON, AZ @ Rialto Theatre

Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza is currently on the "Agents of Chaos" tour. Here's the remaining dates:
9/24 - JOHNSON CITY, TN @ The Hideaway
9/25 - DANVILLE, VA @ Plan B
9/26 - CHARLESTON, SC @ The Oasis
9/27 - AUGUSTA, GA @ Sector 7G
9/28 - MONTGOMERY, AL @ Off the Wagon
9/29 - METAIRIE, LA @ The High Ground
9/30 - LITTLE ROCK, AR @ Vino's
10/1 - AMARILLO, TX @ The War Legion Underground
10/3 - SIOUX FALLS, SD @ Nutty's North
10/4 - FARGO, ND @ Red Raven
10/5 - BUFFALO, MN @ The Vault
10/7 - TINLEY PARK, IL @ Mojoe's
10/8 - FORT WAYNE, IN @ Sunset Hall
10/9 - ROCHESTER, NY @ The Penny Arcade
10/10 - UTICA, NY @ Skate-a-Rama
10/11 - POUGHKEEPSIE, NY @ The Platinum Lounge
10/12 - HOLYOKE, MA @ Water Front Tavern
10/13 - JOHNSON CITY, NY @ Magic City Music Hall
10/14 - LEMOYNE, PA @ Champion Ship
10/15 - WILKES-BARRE, PA @ Cafe Metropolis
10/17 - PHILADELPHIA, PA @ The Warehouse
10/18 - RICHMOND, VA @ Canal Club



Behold...the Arctopus will join Genghis Tron for a set of dates on the other side of the pond:
11/17 BRIGHTON @ Coalition
11/18 DUBLIN @ Whelans
11/19 BELFAST @ Limelight
11/20 BIRMINGHAM @Asylum (w/ the_Network)
11/21 THROWBRIDGE @ Snooker Club (w/ the_Network)
11/22 LONDON @ Underworld (w/ the_Network)
11/23 SHEFFIELD @ Corporation
11/24 BRISTOL @ Croft

The_Network will also be making its mark in the UK in November other than the stops with Genghis Tron and Behold...the Arctopus, confirmed dates below:

11/15 - LONDON @ Clothing Stop (3 p.m. start) w/ Throats
11/15 - ALDERSHOT @ The West End Centre
11/16 - YORK @ The Junction
11/17 - MANCHESTER @ Cafe Sake
11/18 - GLASGOW @ Captains Rest
11/19 - LEEDS @ Royal Park Cellars
11/20 - BIRMINGHAM @ Asylum w/ Genghis Tron, Behold...the Arctopus
11/20 - NOTTINGHAM @ Rock City (Late show)
11/21 - TROWBRIDGE @ Snooker Club w/ Genghis Tron, Behold...the Arctopus
11/22 - LONDON @ Underworld w/ Genghis Tron, Behold...the Arctopus
11/23 - LONDON @ Windmill Brixton
11/24 - BRIGHTON @ The Engine Room
11/25 - NEWPORT @ Le Pub


Stay tuned for more kids, this is just a warm up.


-BMA Staff

BMA News Update: Current album release dates, FASSW breaks the top 300 and 'How to survive Dudefest as a dudette'

From a Second Story Window is being featured on the JSI Top 21 list, issue #325 for the release “Conversations.”

The video for Animosity’s “Toothgrinder” is now available on Music Choice on Demand

Jess Blumensheid wrote an article for Venus Scene called “How to survive Dudefest as a Dudette.” Joining the story are some photos – can you guess which of these ladies are on the BMA staff? Check it out here: http://venuszine.com/articles/music/features/3752/How_to_survive_Dude_Fest_as_a_dudette_

Cancer Bats vocalist Liam Cormier is featured on the Deciblog, brought to you by those cool cats at Decibel Magazine. Peep Liam on the Deciblog here:
http://www.thedeciblog.com/index.php/2008/07/25/the-rockin-pneumonia/

Whats happening in the world of BMA release dates?

Romans - "All Those Wrists" OUT NOW
FASSW - "Conversations" OUT NOW
Sweet Cobra - "Forever" OUT NOW
Cancer Bats - "Hail Destroyer" OUT NOW

Upcoming releases:
Lords - "Fuck All Y'all Motherfuckers" 10/14
Dance Club Massacre - "Circle of Death" - TBA
Architect - "Ghost of the Saltwater Machines" - TBA

Artist Entry: Lords' Chris Owens is the next Gene Siskel, minus the brain tumor

3 shitty movies

Every couple of weeks my uncle drops by with some DVDR's of shitty movies he's ripped. Here's my critique of the latest batch:

"I am Legend" 
Man, does Will Smith suck, or does Will Smith suck? So, he's this ripped, athletic scientist, who is the only dude left in Manhattan (or maybe the world...ooooohhh) that is immune to some virus created to help cure cancer but instead turned everyone into shitty, bald, hyperactive, CGI zombie types that apparently cant handle sunlight. Yawn. Everything is going fine and well until the Fresh Prince fucks up and flips out on some mannequin then gets himself stuck out side at night with the shitty, bald, hyperactive, CGI dummies.

What's the deal with those mannequins anyway? Oh yeah, he's going "crazy" He's like loosing his mind, yo! Oh! Naw he didn't! He just talked to that mannequin and asked her out on a date! Naw he didn't! Crazy ass Fresh Prince!

Well guess what, I don't believe it. I don't believe it because he's a shitty actor and I feel no sympathy for his character.

You know what else I don't believe, is that some chick and her little girl somehow manage to stay alive without the Travis-Bickel-workout-routine-six-pack abs, machine guns, a fortress house, or any of the other amenities that the Fresh Prince required for his survival. Furthermore, what the fuck took them three years, or however long it was, to find him in Manhattan? You know, when he's broadcasting his location on the radio every single day, AND, how the fuck did they drive off the island?! It was supposedly sealed off, as explained in some stupid flash back sequences.

Whatever, fuck this stupid movie. Go rent "Omega Man" instead.


"The Italian Job" 
I have chronic sleep problems which result in and are perpetuated by massive coffee consumption. I drink more coffee than Bobby from Engineer. I keep a coffee pot in the van and bust it out at every show on tour. I drink coffee all the time because I don't sleep very well, or often, and I need the stimulant in my brain to stay functional during the day. I can't sleep without earplugs or complete
darkness. I talked to a doctor about it years ago -- when I could afford to go the doctor -- and he explained to me that normally people's nervous system "turns off" when they're sleeping, but mine only goes in to "low gear," so I'm still aware of sights and sounds, and any kind of stimulation will easily wake me. So the bottom line is that I cant fall asleep with a TV or radio on, or people talking or any kind of shit like that.

....or at least I couldn't, until for the first time in my 29 years of living I saw a movie so fucking boring, contrived and shitty that I actually fell asleep during it.

Really I should have known. Being a remake and the PG13 rating should have been enough, but with Ed Norton and Mark Wahlberg I thought it would at least have to be passable. I really cant decide which actor performed more embarrassingly on this movie. I mean, Ed Norton had to wear the gay ass "evil twin" mustache and goatee. But Wahlberg acted like he was still playing Dirk Diggler staring in a no-plot, action porno -- but with no porno so it wasn't even like you could just fast froward through the dialog to get to the fuck scenes. Fuck scenes might have made this movie a little better -- not much -- but the formula
works for the rest of Hollywood. If there is no intellectually or emotionally stimulating substance to the film, then at least try to give me a boner, or real graphic violence of some sort -- something to make me feel like my money or time hasn't  been thoroughly wasted.

Then you have Donald Sutherland. Sometimes there are actors that no matter what role they're playing you always remember them for one weird obscure thing they did years before. Like how Jeff Goldblum will always be the street thug who's ass you got to see when he was raping and murdering Charles Bronsons' wife and daughter in "Death Wish" and to me Donald Sutherland will always be the Nazi spy who murdered this hot English lady's paraplegic husband then made her fuck and feed him, while he waited for the U-boat to pick him up in "Eye of
the Needle."

Painfully disappointing cast performances aside this movie is a very weak "heist gone wrong" tale with an apparent target audience of retarded 12-year-old girls.

Do your self a favor and don't watch this movie. Go rent "Cannibal
Holocaust" instead. It's nothing like "The Italian Job" in any way,
which is a good thing -- and it's banned in most self respecting first
world countries, so you know it has to be good.


"The Quick and the Dead"
High points: Sharon Stone tit shot, Leonardo DiCaprio dies.

Low points: Everything else in the movie.

This abomination of cinema is essentially a horribly failed attempt to mix "Kill Bill" with at least one scene from every western ever made. We have Sharon Stone as the sass-mouth cowgirl on a quest for revenge against the man who killed her father. I guess we're supposed to get some kind of girl power vibe off of her, but instead most of the movie she acts like a timid, sissy bitch, who is too pussy to kill this dude the first 500 chances that she has. Then suddenly she becomes a badass in the last minute of the film, while uttering one of the gayest
one liners of all time. Once again, I don't believe it.

DiCaprio is the young show off who gets killed by his own dad (Gene Hackman). When he died in the movie I was happy because his character annoyed the fuck out of me.

Russel Crow plays a sharp shooting preacher who has renounced killing -- exactly like Lee Van Cleef in "Gods Gun," except that in this movie Russel Crow doesn't also play his own twin brother,  who in "Gods Gun" comes back to severely mind fuck the bad guys and avenge his death.

Gene Hackman is the gang leader who is responsible for the death of Sharon Stones' dad (although we find out in some queer ass flash back sequences that Sharon Stone actually killed her dad, because Hackman was going to hang him -- but he said if Sharon can shoot the rope off then he'll let him go. But Stone accidentally shoots her dad in the head...HA!).

This movie offends me. Clint Eastwood kind of served as a father figure to me as a child. My moral compass is derived from his spaghetti Western characters ( and from Alan Alda as "Hawkeye" in the "Mash" TV series). Some review of this movie called it "campy fun," but as Dennis Hopper would say in "Blue Velvet;" Fuck that faggot shit. This movie is testament to the rapid retardation and pussification of
America. I hate this movie and anyone who likes it. Fuck it, and fuck you.

Good night.

Artist Entry: Lords' Chris Owens wants you to take that D-beat and shove it

If I hear the phrase "D-Beat" one more time, I'm going to fucking puke.

Seriously.

At some point -- I think around the mid-to-late '90s -- bands all around
the country started to think that it was OK to stop writing their own
songs and start producing lesser versions of what ever happened to be
popular at the time.

Now, it may be that this kind of thing was always happening and I was
simply sheltered from it by growing up on the musical island of
Louisville, KY that was chock full of genre pioneers and other fucked
up exotic punk oddities ranging from Slint to KINGHORSE. But in the
early '90s, when I was first playing in bands and going to punk shows,
it wasn't cool to sound like other bands. If you ripped some one else
off then you got called out and made fun of. There was this
underlying pressure to be better, tighter and different than
everything else that was going on around you, and the end result was
BETTER BANDS.

Anyone who's in a touring band knows the scenario of playing with the
same band in every city, but with different names and different
members. Sometimes you play with the same band several times in one
night and their sets might get progressively better as the evening
progresses, but it's still pretty much the same shit.

Until recently, it was that same shitty generic metalcore band that you
played with every night. Yeah, we get it, you can palm mute and do
sweeps. You wear your stupid Ibanez higher than Paul McCartney's
fiddle bass and you all have wicked cool rack tuners that make your
mesa's look like extras on the Battlestar Galactica set.

Now a days, it's the drop C, "d-beat" nonsense. There are literally
thousands of these bands, a few in every city, and they all sound
the fucking same! I mean, what's the deal guys?

I understand that a lot of you are young and probably haven't heard
much of that one rock band from England that's been playing those same
riffs for 35 years. Or the punk band that the drum beat is named
after, who were playing those riffs 25 years ago. And maybe not even
the guys from Tennessee who moved to Oregon and popularized this most
recent revival seven or eight years ago, but I know for sure that you've
heard of my friends from Louisville who've been playing these songs
for the last five years.

I just don't get it. Yeah sure, every thing's pretty much been
done already, and every band is influenced by other bands, but you
"drop C, D-beat" guys aren't even trying! Seriously.

I mean, I love Voivod and Megadeth. Listen to a Lords record and then
listen to "Rust in Peace" or "Nothing Face" and it should be evident. But
no one's ever going to confuse a lords song for Voivod or
Megadeth. Whatever.

So in conclusion, I think this tuned down dropped C, "D-beat" revival
is already tired, old and run in to the fucking ground -- and I really
wish you kids would start being more creative and original so that it
will make shows on tour a lot more interesting for me.

But that's just my opinion, man, what the fuck do I know anyway?