Artist Entry: Lords vocalist Chris Owens dreams of SS shit soldiers

Does Shitler have a mustache?

I had another pipe dream the other night.

I have a lot of great movie ideas that I talk about a lot. Most recently it was a movie about killer shit, the working title I have right now is, "Foul Movement: Rise of the Turd Reich."

I'm still working out all the details, but the general idea is that you have Shitler leading an army of living excrement, and the U.S. government brings Jesus out of the cryogenic deep freeze they've been keeping him in (since the end of WWII, when the Nazis had figured out how to summon the Christ back to a human form) to battle Shitler.

At first Jesus is all pussy, weak, and doesn't have any of his magic powers, so he goes to the North Pole to train with Santa Claus (who plays a cross between Yoda, and Q from James Bond).

Santa has his elves construct a bunch of special weapons for Jesus that all revolve around the stigmata holes in his hands (including a crucifix jetpack), and gives them to Jesus for a birthday present on Christmas morning, so that he can go battle Shitler.

Oh yeah -- there's got to be a scene where killer shit comes out of a dudes ass and bites his dick off.

Artist Entry: Lords' Chris Owens gives 'wet dream' a new meaning

The Dream, pt. I

I had a dream the other night, in the dream I was on a very crowded beach -- full of frat spring break types -- the beach was supposed to be in Columbus, Ohio.

Anyway, I walk around this large rock formation that's protruding out into the ocean, and when I get to the other side there is this big cove, with a small island in the middle of it and this narrow rock walkway leading out to it.

I know that for some reason I have to go to the small island, but then a bunch of the spring breakers run out on the walk way and it crumbles in to the ocean. They all scramble back to the beach while we're all standing on the shore looking out at the island, when some naked fat lady comes up to me and says, "What? It's just water!"

She then jumps in the water and starts swimming. So I jump in and swim out towards the Island, I get pretty close to it when all of a sudden I bump into the dead body of a white guy in mechanics clothes floating just below the surface. The dead guy looks up at me and grabs my arm, pulling me under the water. He mouths something to me, I cant hear what he's saying but the words flash in my brain, in faded black letters ( in the Iron Maiden font) on red background it says, "One day you will be asked to serve your rap community."

Then I wake up.

Weird, huh?