Artist Entry: Dance Club Massacre guitarist Mitch Hein is a surviving member of the Oceanic six, or is that seven?

"Maybe the dog can find water. I mean, dogs can find pot and bombs, so I'm sure they can find water." - Hurley

“How the fuck do you move an island?!”

Mitch from Dance Club Massacre here. As I sit here typing this, I’m anxiously counting down the minutes to the first hour of the "LOST" Season four finale this Thursday night. It’s kind of like the counter in the Swan Station, but with 1,440 minutes instead of 108, and without that annoying beeping sound.

How do they get off the island?! Why do they need to go back?! Who is in the coffin?! What is the smoke monster?! Why is Kate so hot?! These are just a few of the things I ask myself daily.

Week after week new mysteries unfold that usually aren’t answered for a loooong time, so if you don’t have any patience, I wouldn’t suggest trying to watch this show. However, try watching the first three seasons on DVD all in a row for days straight without sleeping. It’s pretty crazy.

Originally this season was supposed to have 16 back to back episodes, but the writers' strike caused a hiatus after the first seven. At first, this was awful - What was I going to do without "LOST?" In the end though, the writers' strike helped progress the storyline much faster than planned. When it came back, the original 16 episode schedule was cut to 14, which meant more content in fewer episodes. I finally started getting some answers! Until this past week, my mind was blown once again.

After Locke, Ben, and Hurley found Jacob’s cabin in the jungle, Locke was told that in order to save the island, they have to move it. How the fuck do you move an island?!

Well according to what I’ve seen in the promos and sneak peeks, they are heading to another DHARMA Station called The Orchid. Over the summer at Comic-Con, an orientation film for The Orchid was shown. In the video Dr. Edgar Halliwax is shown holding a white rabbit with the number 15 on it. During the presentation something happens and another white rabbit with the number 15 on it appears in the background and everyone starts freaking out and saying, “Don’t let them see each other!”, inferring that it’s the same rabbit but from a different period in time. It’s rumored that The Orchid is used for time travel/teleportation.

So does this mean they are going to physically move the island to a different place? Or are they going to move it in time to the past or future? Are other versions of every character going to appear out of nowhere? I don’t even want to think about how any of this is possible. This show just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

I guess this whole moving the island thing might explain why in the last episode, during Ben’s flash-forward, Charles Widmore says that the island belongs to him but Ben tells him he will never find it - even though Widmore’s men are currently on it (in island time). This implies that they will successfully move the island, but how? Also, what happens to everyone that wasn’t rescued?

So far my theory is that the Oceanic six will get off the island, and immediately after that, Locke and Ben will successfully move the island. This would explain why only the first group of six will make it off, because they won’t be able to find it again. Its said that Season five is most likely going to be about the Oceanic six trying to get back to the island, and then Season six will be them making it back and doing whatever it is they were supposed to do there - since its been implied from day one that they were there for a special purpose and weren’t supposed to leave the island in the first place.

I mean, why did they want to leave the island anyway? There are houses with running water and electricity, a decent amount of food, wine, and beer to go around, you’re right on the ocean, you don’t have any responsibilities…fuck man, take me to this island now!