Artist Entry: TDTDE compare and contrast Metalfest experiences

Photo Credit: Mark Jeffries

Greetings fellow metal people, Brandon Bateman here of Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza.

So here I sit in the back of our van, (well not our van, Lina's van,the van she is letting us use for now)trying to decide how I am going to explain our fun time at New England Metal and Hardcore Festival.

The only thing I could think of was to ask each of the other dudes to tell me some things they dug and things they didn't dig so much. After beating it out of them, I have only the following to report:

Layne Meylain - Guitar
Likes -

1. The crowd's response to our set.
2. Hanging out with tons of friends.
3. Slutty goth chicks!
   

Dislikes -

1. Bands that wear kilts.
2. Meshuggah's sound mix during their set.
   
3. Video interviews
   

I'm gonna break pattern here for a moment and share with you an exact quote from Layne, after I asked him what he thought of Meshuggah's set: " All I got to say is...big rooms and low tunings!"

For those readers who may not know, NE Metalfest was held at the Palladium in Worcester, Mass. A venue that one day long ago held a shit load of yuppy ass mothas in their chinchilla cloaks watching the latest showing of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" acted out by men in tights with questionable sexual orientations, and women who look like men with questionable sexual orientations. So if you've seen the flick "The Phantom of the Opera," you probably have a good idea of what the room looked like and sounded like.

Mike Butler - Bass
Likes -

1. Getting to see friends and fans from past tours.
2. Playing a sweet show and seeing Meshuggah......for FREE!!!!!
3. Getting to hug Scott Lee.
   

Dislikes -

1. Interviews
2. Interviews
3. Interviews
   

Jessie Freeland - Vox
Likes -

1. Scott Lee hooking us up with a badass slot.
2. Playing a fest I've always wanted to play.
3. Seeing a lot of friends.
   

Dislikes - NONE?

Paul Simpson - Guitar
Likes -

1. The awesome people of Mass.
2. The Crowd response.
3. Getting to see friends from past tours.
   

Dislikes -

1. Not getting paid to play the show.
2. A ridiculous merch cut.
3. $6.00 sausages.
   

And for my last trick....

Brandon Bateman - Drums
Likes -

1. Seeing the amount of gray in all of Meshuggah's hair.
2. Comparing Vince Bennett's and Ray Chaos' beards for the most comfort (Ray won).
   
3. Doing a photo shoot with Buck Hunter, The Taliban and random acts of public urination.
   

Dislikes -

1. Not getting a single moment of silence ALL FUCKING DAY.
2. Not getting a single moment of silence ALL FUCKING DAY.
3. Not getting a single moment of silence ALL FUCKING DAY.
   

So, I'm falling asleep writing this. I'm gonna take a nap and dream about a new tour van.

Goodbye for now friends.