Thursday, May 22, 2008

Artist Entry: The Indomitable Iron Sloth main man Justin Godfrey sees the mark of the beast in Scrooge McDuck

The Iron Sloth cometh
Art by: Jake Estes

So it occurs to me that I don't have any real inspiration -- when it comes to music at least.

I just know how I arrived here, and the pivotal moments that nudged me in this direction. Sometimes I think it was because the time that all the neighborhood kids were piling into the suburban to go see the "Duck Tales" movie, "The Treasure of the Lost Lamp" for Christsake!! I'd been waiting at least a year to see this movie, and considering the fact that I was only 7-years-old, that was like 15% of my lifetime. But oh no, "Lost Lamp" implies that a Genie might be inside and of course everyone knows that genies are a form of black magic, and God is not into that at all. A tear rolled down my face as the Suburban backed down that driveway.

I eventually saw the movie a couple of years later after the genie embargo had been lifted, since Mom was a Robin Williams fan and his groundbreaking role in "Aladdin" opened the door to cartoon witchcraft for me.

But the damage was done, the invisible hand of fate, guardian of life's backroads and dead ends, pushed me further down the path of destruction that had begun years earlier with a commercial for deaf people. The end of the commercial featured the sign for love, which when attempted by my 5-year-old digits, looked more like the devil horns. I was physically informed that I was never again to make the sign of the devil, but the real underlying message was already planted in my mind. I ran upstairs to hide in my closet, but I knew it was no use, I prayed for forgiveness, still I knew in the back of my mind there was no hope for me. No amount of being a good boy in God's army could ever outweigh the transgression of making the goat horns, swearing an unspoken oath to Satan. I had no future beyond this life. I was going to go to hell.


Mike Pratt said...

Represent vancouver!

Anonymous said...

Why would you want to go to hell? It just don't make sense. I ain't tryin to preach, but if you worship satan or think you do, and want to go to hell, then odds are your life on this earth will be a literal "living hell". It ain't to late to have a positive life (and afterlife) dude.

Justin said...

It just don't make sense because there is no hell. Keep living your life in fear of an imaginary man in the sky, I did it the first 18 years of my life so I know how stressful it can be.

JasonR said...

Wearing spats with no shoes, like Scrooge McDuck, is the first step towards a cuddly spot in Satan's nappy time nursery.

Anonymous said...

What ever happened to the God-Free Water Company? (Marketed strictly to atheists). That could've been a real money maker.

Justin said...

Haha! I think I might just make it into a micro brewery.